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originally posted in:Sociopaths United
Edited by TrussingDoor: 12/3/2013 2:48:42 AM
51

Mother of Two kills three people over Xbox One at chicago wal-mart

[quote]A woman was arrested today for stabbing to death three shoppers at a Chicago-area Wal-Mart in order to secure the store's last X-Box One. Mary Robbins, a married mother of two, reportedly wrestled her competitors to the ground before fatally wounding them with a sharpened Phillips head screwdriver. The victim's names have not yet been released, but are said to include a sociology student at Northwestern University, a chemistry teacher at at local high school and a young pregnant woman buying a system for her brother. Robbins fled the scene and was apprehended at home hours later after police identified her license plates on the store's surveillance camera. Although many are shocked by the senseless violence, the alleged perpetrator is unrepentant. "Of course I'd do it all over again," Robbins proclaimed from a Cook County jail cell. "My little Dustin is going to have an X-Box for Christmas this year. No one can take that away from him. Not even the police. "Shopping isn't a hobby for me, it's a war. So I have to spend a little time behind bars. So what? I didn't punk out. I fought hard for my family, and I'm proud of that."[/quote] This is a horrible tragedy. I can hardly believe this woman would do such a thing. [spoiler]Honestly I want to see how hard the fanboys rant before reading the post and realizing this is satire.[/spoiler]

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  • I almost took this seriously, but then I got about halfway through and realized how great it was. The sad thing is that I am sure people believed this, and it is disappointing to know that we live in a society where something like this could actually happen. With that being said, still pretty funny to read. Nice job!

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