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originally posted in:Sociopaths United
Edited by TrussingDoor:
12/3/2013 2:48:42 AM
51
Mother of Two kills three people over Xbox One at chicago wal-mart
[quote]A woman was arrested today for stabbing to death three shoppers at a Chicago-area Wal-Mart in order to secure the store's last X-Box One.
Mary Robbins, a married mother of two, reportedly wrestled her competitors to the ground before fatally wounding them with a sharpened Phillips head screwdriver.
The victim's names have not yet been released, but are said to include a sociology student at Northwestern University, a chemistry teacher at at local high school and a young pregnant woman buying a system for her brother.
Robbins fled the scene and was apprehended at home hours later after police identified her license plates on the store's surveillance camera. Although many are shocked by the senseless violence, the alleged perpetrator is unrepentant.
"Of course I'd do it all over again," Robbins proclaimed from a Cook County jail cell. "My little Dustin is going to have an X-Box for Christmas this year. No one can take that away from him. Not even the police.
"Shopping isn't a hobby for me, it's a war. So I have to spend a little time behind bars. So what? I didn't punk out. I fought hard for my family, and I'm proud of that."[/quote]
This is a horrible tragedy. I can hardly believe this woman would do such a thing.
[spoiler]Honestly I want to see how hard the fanboys rant before reading the post and realizing this is satire.[/spoiler]
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Thought it was fake, then thought it was real, then thought it was fake.
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2 RepliesI saw a couple of people fist fighting over them. -blam!-ing stupid.
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Edited by Legend To None: 12/3/2013 5:31:28 PMMy god if you can't afford something that's $500 then you fail wel latest if your an adult
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2 RepliesIt's fake. Here's another article from the site
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I'd be proud to call her my mom.
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1 ReplyYEAH LETS JUST KILL EACHOTHER OVER A SYSTEM THAT HAS CAPABILITIES WE CAN DO ON A 360.
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More fake than my sock-stuffed crotch region.
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Relevant.
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Such pride toward her actions. I respect her
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1 ReplyIf she killed a pregnant woman didn't she actually kill 4 people? [spoiler]kek[/spoiler]
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[quote]Quiznos was burnt to the ground[/quote] Oh man, this is too great!
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Could have easily been true.
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It seems too believable to be satire. O.o
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Well, a man was killed yesterday for a PS4, so I can believe it.
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tfw the title is 100% believable.
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I'd kill for a Gamecast.
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Edited by abba61: 12/3/2013 1:34:53 PMShe is -blam!-ing disgusting, I hope her family disowns her [Insert derp face]
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1 ReplyShould've gotten a PS4 lulululul
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You know it's bad when I believe the title.
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3 RepliesEdited by Decimator Omega: 12/3/2013 3:22:32 AMWait a minute..... This shit is actually bullshit?!? -_- FUCK YOU DOOR! [b]FUCK! YOU![/b]
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[quote]my little Dustin[/quote] I wasn't sure if this was a parody until I read that haha!
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I almost took this seriously, but then I got about halfway through and realized how great it was. The sad thing is that I am sure people believed this, and it is disappointing to know that we live in a society where something like this could actually happen. With that being said, still pretty funny to read. Nice job!
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5 RepliesI knew the story was BS when I saw the name. Had this been legit, the woman's name would have been something like Lawfaundaniquajohnson Jones or Shaninanaaniqua Jackson
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2 RepliesNom Nom Nom, will anyone take the bait?
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I know this is fake but it really wouldn't surprise me if it was true
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Seen it before a couple or times I went to the launch at my local game store for the Xbox and playstation both times we ended up with cops ambulance and illegal weapons no deaths through
