originally posted in:Sociopaths United
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The statue represented a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind. This thing, which seemed instinct with a fearsome and unnatural malignancy, was of a somewhat bloated corpulence, and squatted evilly on a rectangular block or pedestal covered with undecipherable characters, taking a huge dump. The tips of the wings touched the back edge of the block, the seat occupied the center, whilst the long, curved claws of the doubled-up, crouching hind legs gripped the front edge and extended a quarter of the way down toward the bottom of the pedestal. The creature was clearly in a lot of pain from the massive dump it was taking. The cephalopod head was bent forward, so that the ends of the facial feelers brushed the backs of huge fore paws which clasped the croucher's elevated knees. The creature made an inhumane sound, its shouting barely able being only minutely pronounced in human voice "ishallgiveyouhead", causing many horrified sailors to immediately shit themselves to death. He gurgled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said F'kgash and he had souls in the mirror. If anything He could say that this cab was weird, but he roared: "Nah, forget it- Yo, human, to R'lyeh!"
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Derp?