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If you try and make gender into an umbrella term that covers everything from sexuality to your feelings about pants this morning, then the word becomes meaningless as it encapsulates anything and everything and absolutely nothing, and so you've achieved less than nothing.
It's as bad as those people who are trying to make -blam!- mean "any contact of any kind with anyone I don't personally like"...
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I don't think there's any way around it, bro. Not like people are just going to stop being who they are because it's all getting too complicated for you to comfortably handle.