So today I was riding the public transit bus home from school. A bunch of rowdy assholes, mostly freshmen and sophomores were sitting behind my friend and me. They decided that shooting their spit and phlegm was funny, so they got their sick friend to shoot his snot all over us from about 5 feet away. It started to drip down the window and I could feel it in my hair. Earlier that day on the bus ride into school, another one of those douchebags decided it would be funny to lean real close to the back of my head and spit as hard as he could. It took enormous amounts of self-control not to just reach around and slam his head into the seat. -blam!-ing kids these days.
This is actually a true story, no joke.
EDIT: Stop telling me to kick their asses. I'm not going to do it unless they do it again.
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You have both good self-control and terrible self-respect, you should have turned around and grabbed one by the collar and yelled "sir why do you appear to think that spitting on me on the public transportation service is acceptable? You do realize that there is audio and video recording devices on this vehicle right?"