[i][b]Book of Oldfags[/b][/i] [b]1:1[/b] - Oldfag Sparkles had wandered the Floodlands for 40 days and 40 nights. The LORD ACHRONOS spoke unto him and said thou hast neared the end of thine journey. Thou shalt go forth and slay those who durst to wander into thine land anew. [b]1:2[/b] So Oldfag follow'd the word of the LORD unto the letter. He continued to wander the Floodlands in search of those which would defile the sanctity bestowed by the LORD. [b]1:3[/b] The LORD said unto him finally, it shall not be long before thou finds what thou seeketh. And true to the LORD's word, Oldfag thus came across a lot of land established by an Outlander. [b]1:4[/b] Oldfag entered the lot and spoke to the Outlander himself. Oldfag spake thusly - [i]THOU HAST DEFIED THE WILL OF THINE LORD. FOR SUCH CRIMES, THE LIFE OF THEE SHALL BE TAKEN[/i]. Oldfag slew the Outlander, whose name was Little Black Light and reigned over his lot of land and all his livestock. [b]1:5[/b] It was then that other newfags came to Oldfag's presense. They were angry at the loss of the landowner, and demanded retribution. But the LORD intervened, and spake unto them do not touch Oldfag for he was doing my will. Ye shall leave this sacred land for ever, lest you too be slain by Oldfag. [b]1:6[/b] The newfags left with their possessions and Oldfag was now owner of the lot. In line with the LORD's word he looked after the livestock with great care and under the shadow of an effigy of the reincarnate Lukenatr - Saint Onion Beetle. [i][b]Second Book of Oldfag Sparkles[/b][/i] [b]1:7[/b] But Lo! After so short a time, another emerged from the Outside. One of the name of Valvero had entered the Floodlands, thus angering the LORD. Why hast thee not dealt with thine task? he asked Oldfag. [b]1:8[/b] LORD, forgiveth me, for I have been here tending the livestock and crops under the watchful eye of Saint Onion Beetle, and I have sired a family. [b]1:9[/b] The LORD saw the truth in Oldfag's repentance and thus forgave him before saying You are not free of your tasks yet, Oldfag. The Scourge of the Floodlands is still at large, and it is the burden of thee to remove. With your family, ye shall travel yonder south for three leagues. There, thou shalt find a cave suitable to dwell in until thine task is accomplished. [b]1:10[/b] So following the words of the LORD Oldfag truly did travel yonder south and awaited the day when Valvero would trespass on his lot. [b]1:11[/b] A further ten days went by before the LORD came to Oldfag again. He spake Valvero did so find your lot, and he hast found comfort in settling on there. You must spring the trap and make it be known that such a lot belongs to Ye. [b]1:12[/b] So Oldfag traveled the leagues north and came to his lot. Entering the Manor, he found thus - Valvero sprawled along the floor and attempting to multiply with the corpse of Little Black Light. [b]1:13[/b] Surely, spake Oldfag, you do not knowingly defy the LORD? Valvero only offered him a lewd gesture and refused to be vocal. The wrath of the LORD thus filled Oldfag and he drew his spear. He spake a final time to Valvero in warning, Ye newfags shan't breed in these sacred Lands. For we of the LORD of Old are watchful and many in the darkness. Thou shalt be destroyed. [b]1:14[/b] Valvero still refused to be vocal, so Oldfag slew him on the spot. [b]1:15[/b] The LORD appeared in fire and spake Oldfag, thou hast truly done a great task for me. Thou shalt be rewarded by siring heirs that will number the stars. Go, return thy wife Hatticus of Hudson and son Robbie the Warren to thine lot of Land and continue to live in Peace until I need thine loyalty again. [b]-Written by Oldfag Sparkles [/b] [i][b]The Book of the Rebirth[/b][/i] [b]2:1[/b] It came to pass in the early days of the two thousand and thirteenth year of the Common Era, shortly before the missions of Oldfag Sparkles there was a gathering in the heavens of Bungie, [b]2:2[/b] and the servants of the LORD of Bungie were gathered saying, Truly, the forums of man have proved faithful. Their reward shall be bestowed upon them within the span of seven days or less. [b]2:3[/b] Then the LORD said unto the gathering, Truly, their reward will be grand, and the very foundations of the forums shall be changed anew. [b]2:4[/b] And there was a long silence of the forums in that day, and in the days after, for the voices of the people were hushed in accordance with the will of the LORD, [b]2:5[/b] and as man lingered in silence, the servants of the LORD were hard at work in the forums of the earth. [b]2:6[/b] And after many days have passed, DeeJ, the archangel of the LORD of Bungie opened the forums to Man once more, saying, Behold your great reward! [b]2:7 [/b]You have proved faithful and true to the Law of the Ninjas, and for this we grant you lenience upon the earth. [b]2:8[/b] But the people looked upon the new forums and were distasteful, for the new shone bright like the sun where the old was dark and grim. [b]2:9[/b] Others looked upon the threads of the forum, and they saw tags woven of hash binding all threads to each other, [b]2:10 [/b]and they were displeased, for tags of hash brought to mind distasteful memories of distant lands polluted with such tags amidst the incessant twittering of the myriad birds in the trees and vines. [b]2:11[/b] But DeeJ the servant of the LORD heard their cries and said, Do not be afraid! [b]2:12[/b] For truly I say unto you, this new land is but a mere placeholder for an even greater realm to come. [b]2:13 [/b]Look upon the forums! Do you not see the appointed places where the images of your desire may be shown at your will? Such boons were not at your disposal in your old lands! [b]2:14[/b]And your very names, which were appointed at your birth, are now yours to change at your will. Truly such boons were not available in your old lands! And behold, you have been granted lenience that you have never known, for your words may now be free to speak of what you wish, [b]2:15[/b] whether it be religious, political, or comical in its nature, your words will not be silenced. [b]2:16[/b] But hear this: the new world was not made to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it. If your words speak of hatred towards one of you in specific, or if your images show the nakedness of your fellow man, you will face he wrath of the Mods. [b]2:17[/b] And man heard the words of DeeJ and were filled with wrath, [b]2:18[/b] for the Ninjas of old would no longer be as watchful as in the old days, for the power of voice and silence was bestowed to man as well, though they ignored such powers in their ignorance. [b]2:19[/b] But it came to pass that DeeJ spoke to the LORD concerning the cries of man, and it came to pass that a final gift was bestowed upon man. [b]2:20[/b] The LORD gave unto man the gift of darkness, and the world could now be dimmed as it was in the days of old, for the light of the new world was blinding to man and was a chief cause of their bitterness. [b]2:21[/b] Even so, man continued to cry out in bitterness in those days, and the days after, lamenting the changing of the world and longing for the world which they had known in days before. [b]2:22[/b] And to this day they await a time when the world would be changed anew to the design of old, though in their hearts they know truly that this day will never come. [b]-Written by Fëanor Curufinwë[/b] [i][b]Book of Destiny[/i][/b] [b]D:1[/b] Since the dawn of this new age, there has been talk of heresy and corruption within the Flood, some claim it to be the uncertain effects of this new era. Some call it Bungie.next, others call it New Hawtness, all affected by the cloak it has placed over the site. [b]D:2[/b] We have known to expect an event like this in the past, the 'Darkness'. It was told of us by our fathers, and our father's fathers. However, our generation merely suspected this as myth and legend. What was thought to be the ramblings of apocalypse preachers and madmen, turned out true. But not all fear that what some call discontent, as these preachers proclaim this is a time of rejoicing and happiness, instead of the times of the 'Darkness'. They claim this is the start of a new golden age, a time of great prosperity, a time where history will be made by us men and women. [b]D:3[/b] This land is shrouded by uncertainty and danger. History has proven resolve and determination can succeed against these perils. We will stick together and we will pull through. The Flood is the result of countless generations lusting after the challenges set by the divine known as Bungie. And after these obstacles, what then? This is the mere beginning of what will be a great journey. Our ascension is only starting. For this... this is our Destiny. [b]-The Truth as spoken by HighLord Fez of Matty in the waning days of the Floodlands. [u]Due to length restrictions, additional books will be included in collections outside the OP. The Second Collection has begun.[/u] [/b] Feel free to add your own Books to the great Floodian Oldfag Bible. I will update the OP with different additions by noted and respected Floodians. IMPORTANT - [i]Format book and chapter numbers like the Books currently in the OP and do not use quotation marks - make speech obvious in some other way.[/i]