Do you have any small nuggets of wisdom for life? I'll go first.
Protip: The word [i]corny[/i], is in itself corny.
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Never borrow money from friends.
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Rock your hips when you take a dump
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Never stick your dick in a crazy.
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Also go with the grain on the run when shaving.
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Dress decently and get into good physical shape. The latter is a priority though.