Do what you need to do Raven. I'm sorry for your loss. I've been married for fifteen and I've known my wife since HighSchool I can only imagine your suffering right now and I know every day is blessing even those days when I was ready to stick my head In a bucket and scream from one of our many fights. We are strangers you and I across the links of two screens but on the other side are two humans, so I wish I had better words to say. I don't, but I also didn't want you to look upon your post and say no one cares or can't even say anything at all. Luck sir.