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7/29/2013 6:56:19 AM
18
God doesn't even real.
Right off the bat I'm gonna tell you that I didn't write this, and my friend sent me it. Wish I could tell you the source. I just thought it was funny and you would appreciate it.
"A young boy went to a college philosophy class one day. The student arrived on time like usual. He had his suitcase full of his work. He was very diligent and well-read.
The professor walked in 5 minutes late, as usual. The professor stood at the front of the class and said, "gOD... is REAL."
This rubbed the student the wrong way. He was normally patient, but when it came to fundamentalist people who believed in gOD, he wanted none of it.
"gOD is real and you can't prove he isn't."
The student, obviously angered by this statement, stood up and shouted, "gOD doesn't even real."
The professor said, "Oh yeah? How can you even prove that?"
The student looked at the professor and smiled smugly. He reached into his suitcase and pulled something out.
The professor's eyes widened. He started sweating. He couldn't believe his eyes.
It was a can of Mountain Dew.
The student opened the can. The crack made the professor jump. The professor was mumbling quietly to himself.
The student took a sip of the can, while still smiling smugly at the professor who was obviously shaken by it. The professor started screaming. The student started gulping the can of Mountain Dew. The professor jumped on his desk and started seizing at the pure euphoria that he was experiencing at that moment. The student finished the can of Mountain Dew in less than two seconds.
The professor's seizing stopped. He lay lifeless on his desk. The entire class stared in awe at what had just happened.
The professor's name? Mitt Romney.
And that student's name?
Albert Einstein."
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3 RepliesIn case people don't know the memes/inside jokes here... -[url=http://www.snopes.com/religion/einstein.asp]The Einstein story.[/url] "The [x]'s name? Albert Einstein" is often used as a mock punch-line for stories like this that are obviously false-- yet are believed by gullible people. The story provides the structure for such satirical stories. -The capitalization in "gOD". While capitalization of the word God is common and correct, some internet atheists have rebelled against the tyranny by refusing to capitalize it (see: r/atheism, r/atheismrebooted). Some clever folks took to mocking them by doing a reverse-capitalization, whereby the "g" is the only uncapitalized letter. -Atheists and smugness. Being smug is a common trait of the vocal, radical atheist; this perception has been solidified by the obvious superiority with which these atheists carry themselves, and the rage faces they often identify with. [url=http://i.imgur.com/UJWqc.png]You can see the smugness here,[/url] courtesy of the satirical r/magicskyfairy. -Being euphoric. Truly a Reddit post that will live in infamy. On one fine day, a Reddit user decided to post the following bit of cringe to r/atheism. [quote]Just to be clear, I'm not a professional "quote maker". I'm just an atheist teenager who greatly values his intelligence and scientific fact over any silly fiction book written 3,500 years ago. This being said, I am open to any and all criticism. "In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence." - Aalewis Eh?[/quote]While r/atheism generally lacks any self-awareness whatsoever, they quickly (and kindly, strangely enough) told poor Aalewis that he might have taken the whole thing a bit too far. Still, the damage was done, and being "euphoric" and "enlightened by my own intelligence" are common memes used as satire or mockery. -Mountain Dew. Neckbeards, basement-dwellers, and e-atheists like MD. It's a fact. -Mitt Romney. During the 2012 presidential campaign, Reddit's r/politics (and probably other internet communities) did their absolute best to prove that our boy R-Money was literally Hitler. Remember that ad that tried to call out Romney for murder, because Bain killed the company a guy worked for, then the guy's wife died because of untreated medical issues that were too expensive? r/politics was that, every single day. I think that's it.
