He's talking about a very serious case of a missing developmentally-disabled teenager that hasn't been found since earlier today, so he starts saying "she's a teen who doesn't -blam!--*clears his throat* functions normally" then continues talking, but his massive screw-up of that was already heard to many people...
How do you mess up that curse word with functions? Come on man...
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Yikes :s
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Sounds like he misread function as fuc-whatever, and caught it halfway through so all he said was fuc.