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Edited by Felicia402:
7/21/2013 5:15:11 PM
280
Criticizing and making inappropriate comments on female member's appearances
Now before I begin, I know exactly what I'm getting myself into here. I'm prepared for the flaming and the insults, but I'm going to put on my brave face here, and finally say something which I believe has been on a lot of other member's minds, but nobody wants to speak up in fear of being ridiculed. Inappropriate
I've noticed some people, if not a lot of people, on these forums somehow think criticizing, comparing, and making rather disgusting comments on a females appearance is okay. Now, I'm not sure what you guys talk about privately or around your "buds" in real life (I mean, I've discussed other people's appearances before to friends in a mature manner) however do you guys do so around the actual girls you're discussing? I'm assuming not, but if you do, seriously, learn better manners.
I know we all like to sit around and post images of models and actresses then critic their looks. It's all in good fun, I acknowledge that and that's fine, but when you're doing so to girls that are SEEING your comments and you're well AWARE they're seeing your comments, what makes you think that's okay? What makes you think because these females post pictures of themselves, that you have the right to say you find them unattractive or compare them to one another? This is NOT okay behavior, and it doesn't matter how much you try to justify it, [b]it never will be okay.[/b] If you went up to a girl in public and said "Meh. 5/10. Seen better", you'd be considered an asshole. If you went up to two girls in public and said one was better looking than the other, you're an asshole. Comment on a girl's picture on Facebook saying "You got a good body, your face on the other had...", you'd be considered an asshole. Just because you're anonymous and because these random females post pictures of themselves online, doesn't make you any less of an asshole. Sorry to inform you.
Now before you all just start slurring comments such as;
>"Well don't post pictures of yourself if you care so much!!!", (which still don't justify such horrible behavior) I don't care. I'm content with my appearance, and if I wasn't, no I wouldn't have had posted pictures of myself. It is all in good fun, and shouldn't be no different than a male member posting a picture. [b]Looks are irrelevant on a internet forum.[/b]
>"Don't be so insecure!" I can ensure you, I'm not. If I was I would have NEVER made a thread like this. I'm prepared for a ton of insults coming my way for simply making this thread.
>"It's an opinion! Deal with it! I can say what I want online." Sometimes it's best to keep opinions to yourself. We all can be judgmental, and I'm definitely no angel myself, but I don't be going up to be people saying negative comments about things they cannot change. That would make me a [b]mean person.[/b] It doesn't matter if you're online or in person, this is still [b]mean.[/b]
>"Like if someone posts art online, I'll tell them how I truly feel so they can improve!" Unlike art, you can't change your appearance, and seriously nobody say plastic surgery.
This thread was made out of curiosity, and curiosity alone. I just want to know why you guys think this behavior is okay. I was going to keep this thread within TFS, but I don't think my main target members will be able to see it. I may regret doing so, but come on guys, for once show everyone we're not such a god awful shit-tier forum. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!
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While I agree that making such commentary doesn't belong anywhere, it's the unfortunate state of the Internet, especially when there are no ties to your actual identity. People have "Internet Cajones" that give them the ability to say whatever stupid thing comes to their mind because they can hide behind a wall of anonymity. I had a girl once tell me on the Internet that I should have been aborted (only knew she was female from her pic and profile info). If she, a random person, had met me on the street and we were having the same conversation, I highly doubt she would have said anything of the sort. Men are obviously also fallible, as you've witnessed and referenced. Then again, guys on this very forum have also picked on the appearances of other guys and critiqued them for being "fat," "ugly," or "ur so gey brah." The internet provides the opportunity for people to be someone they aren't. Consequently, many of them take this to heart. Some people are big-chested assholes who have strong opinions on controversial topics that they'd never speak up about in person. Some berate other members for sport, others pick apart the appearances of others. Some give in to base lusts and rudimentary conversations that stem from that. In some cases people see analogues of the people they know in real life, but would never have the courage to say XYZ to their face. So they take their frustrations or bottled up responses and put them on the web. It all comes from the territory. Because really, who am I? Who here knows my name? Who here knows my family, or someone else they could mention off-color behaviors to? Who here knows the restaurants I frequent? What games I play? Whether I'm a female or a male? No one really knows. I could be 13 or 57 out here. Creepy as hell or a pretty chill person. The Internet, in all its glory, is a mask on forums like this, allowing us to fling shit at each other without fearing the consequences that would stem from doing the same in person. It's dodge-able, in most cases. Keep an eye out and you won't step in as much shit. Though sometimes we're all fallible to rising to the bait of a Subject line, then watch as our opinions form with/against the post that goes along with it to the point where something must be said. Don't much like it myself, but it's the nature of the beast. You're far less likely to see the same kinda crap go down on your Facebook page, where your ID is tied to your statements and can vastly shape your appearance within your own personal world.
