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Edited by Felicia402:
7/21/2013 5:15:11 PM
280
Criticizing and making inappropriate comments on female member's appearances
Now before I begin, I know exactly what I'm getting myself into here. I'm prepared for the flaming and the insults, but I'm going to put on my brave face here, and finally say something which I believe has been on a lot of other member's minds, but nobody wants to speak up in fear of being ridiculed. Inappropriate
I've noticed some people, if not a lot of people, on these forums somehow think criticizing, comparing, and making rather disgusting comments on a females appearance is okay. Now, I'm not sure what you guys talk about privately or around your "buds" in real life (I mean, I've discussed other people's appearances before to friends in a mature manner) however do you guys do so around the actual girls you're discussing? I'm assuming not, but if you do, seriously, learn better manners.
I know we all like to sit around and post images of models and actresses then critic their looks. It's all in good fun, I acknowledge that and that's fine, but when you're doing so to girls that are SEEING your comments and you're well AWARE they're seeing your comments, what makes you think that's okay? What makes you think because these females post pictures of themselves, that you have the right to say you find them unattractive or compare them to one another? This is NOT okay behavior, and it doesn't matter how much you try to justify it, [b]it never will be okay.[/b] If you went up to a girl in public and said "Meh. 5/10. Seen better", you'd be considered an asshole. If you went up to two girls in public and said one was better looking than the other, you're an asshole. Comment on a girl's picture on Facebook saying "You got a good body, your face on the other had...", you'd be considered an asshole. Just because you're anonymous and because these random females post pictures of themselves online, doesn't make you any less of an asshole. Sorry to inform you.
Now before you all just start slurring comments such as;
>"Well don't post pictures of yourself if you care so much!!!", (which still don't justify such horrible behavior) I don't care. I'm content with my appearance, and if I wasn't, no I wouldn't have had posted pictures of myself. It is all in good fun, and shouldn't be no different than a male member posting a picture. [b]Looks are irrelevant on a internet forum.[/b]
>"Don't be so insecure!" I can ensure you, I'm not. If I was I would have NEVER made a thread like this. I'm prepared for a ton of insults coming my way for simply making this thread.
>"It's an opinion! Deal with it! I can say what I want online." Sometimes it's best to keep opinions to yourself. We all can be judgmental, and I'm definitely no angel myself, but I don't be going up to be people saying negative comments about things they cannot change. That would make me a [b]mean person.[/b] It doesn't matter if you're online or in person, this is still [b]mean.[/b]
>"Like if someone posts art online, I'll tell them how I truly feel so they can improve!" Unlike art, you can't change your appearance, and seriously nobody say plastic surgery.
This thread was made out of curiosity, and curiosity alone. I just want to know why you guys think this behavior is okay. I was going to keep this thread within TFS, but I don't think my main target members will be able to see it. I may regret doing so, but come on guys, for once show everyone we're not such a god awful shit-tier forum. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!
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Nice to see this place hasn't changed
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24 RepliesNot usually the type to preach this message, but I'll say it about this community. Give up. No really, leave. The administration/moderation here has no interest in doing any work to make the community even tolerable - the mute button is just an implemented feature so they finally have an excuse to just let you deal with your own shit. Random people aren't going to listen to fellow users in no positions of power like you or me, so if those with power don't care enough, then you're simply wasting your breath. Find another place to spend your free time, maybe one where community leaders actually give some effort into keeping things clean.
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7 RepliesEdited by Cortana Five: 7/19/2013 9:13:59 PMChrist, my mute list is insane thanks to this thread. Felicia, I love you in ways I can't explain. But let's back up here: I've been here since I was 11. Yikes, I know. And for many years I was conditioned to believe that I didn't own my body by ultra conservative people IRL and by the hordes of assholes on the Flood and 4chan. The judgement I'd undergo when I'd post a picture of myself or even identify myself as female (either on a forum or through XBL) would just reinforce that mentality. Society in general conditions men to treat women in such a piss poor manner, and they take that behavior with them for life. By sizing women up, men who don't know better are trying to own and control you. Summing someone up to just how they look is a means to control and a way for a bully to convince their victim that they are less than human. And it wasn't until after I graduated high school did I realize these things. And yet, I remain here. Why? Because there are people here who I love and care for and they make this place worth it. I've got the confidence and gall to say "-blam!- you" and deliver a broken nose to the nearest misogynist -blam!-wad that dares make a comment on my appearance. Because I know that how I look has nothing to do with the topic at hand. It's about their insecurity and inability to carry a conversation. The best counter to such idiots is to take that knowledge and turn them upside-down. Nothing scares a bully more than when their victim decides not to be one anymore. Sexist assholes who think they have the space to walk all over me are really just lowly jerks that I have the pleasure of not paying much heed to. Because I am not art. I am not putting myself "on display" for anybody's pleasure, unless I explicitly say I am. And anyone who thinks that's it's okay to call me a "fat bitch" over my PAX pictures from four years ago is welcome to take a hike. My physical appearance is none of anyone's business, neither is yours. Picture related. This is a picture of me along with many community members. It's a picture of ALL OF US. We're people of different ages, religion, race, genders, countries, financial situations, etc. Look at this amazing moment that many of us may look upon quite fondly. Some asshat will love to make a smart-ass comment. The shit that said person spews doesn't matter in the face of the decent human beings I've surrounded myself with. I hope you don't feel driven out of here, because we need people like you, Felicia, with the gall to stand up for yourself in the hopes of making a difference. Please, please stick around.
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1 ReplyCan we kill this thread with a gun now. Think everybody gets the point.
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8 RepliesHey Mods turn the rules back on and save us from all this drama.
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5 RepliesWe should add a new rule to the forums. Treat members with respect. Do not make shitty comments on other members appearance, race, nationality, sex, sexual orientation, mental/physical disability, etc.
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3 Replies11/10 Thread, the flood has turned into a shithole.
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Huh. You just gained a little respect, girlfriend.
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Mute people you don't like and don't enter threads when you know you won't like what you find. This place [i]is[/i] a shithole, and you shouldn't be surprised when shit comes out of it. I can't say that I share your faith.
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While I agree that making such commentary doesn't belong anywhere, it's the unfortunate state of the Internet, especially when there are no ties to your actual identity. People have "Internet Cajones" that give them the ability to say whatever stupid thing comes to their mind because they can hide behind a wall of anonymity. I had a girl once tell me on the Internet that I should have been aborted (only knew she was female from her pic and profile info). If she, a random person, had met me on the street and we were having the same conversation, I highly doubt she would have said anything of the sort. Men are obviously also fallible, as you've witnessed and referenced. Then again, guys on this very forum have also picked on the appearances of other guys and critiqued them for being "fat," "ugly," or "ur so gey brah." The internet provides the opportunity for people to be someone they aren't. Consequently, many of them take this to heart. Some people are big-chested assholes who have strong opinions on controversial topics that they'd never speak up about in person. Some berate other members for sport, others pick apart the appearances of others. Some give in to base lusts and rudimentary conversations that stem from that. In some cases people see analogues of the people they know in real life, but would never have the courage to say XYZ to their face. So they take their frustrations or bottled up responses and put them on the web. It all comes from the territory. Because really, who am I? Who here knows my name? Who here knows my family, or someone else they could mention off-color behaviors to? Who here knows the restaurants I frequent? What games I play? Whether I'm a female or a male? No one really knows. I could be 13 or 57 out here. Creepy as hell or a pretty chill person. The Internet, in all its glory, is a mask on forums like this, allowing us to fling shit at each other without fearing the consequences that would stem from doing the same in person. It's dodge-able, in most cases. Keep an eye out and you won't step in as much shit. Though sometimes we're all fallible to rising to the bait of a Subject line, then watch as our opinions form with/against the post that goes along with it to the point where something must be said. Don't much like it myself, but it's the nature of the beast. You're far less likely to see the same kinda crap go down on your Facebook page, where your ID is tied to your statements and can vastly shape your appearance within your own personal world.
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16 RepliesIf a girl, or anyone really, posts a picture of themselves with a caption saying: "What do you think?" and I don't find them attractive, I will tell them so. That isn't rude, or mean, or being a jerk. Not being nice is not the same thing as being mean. Saying something negative is not the same as being mean. Saying something that might make someone feel worse about themselves is not the same as being mean. And regardless, I do have the right. The right to be honest, to be nice, or to be a complete asshole. I have the right to go to my facebook right now and post comments on the pictures of girls I know telling them that they are ugly and that no one will ever want them. I have the right to go up to women on the street and tell them that they're hideous and should probably cross the street to avoid terrifying the children at the school up the road. That doesn't make it "okay" if you mean that as something a non-asshole would do, but it does mean that they don't need to justify their reasons for behaving like that. People are allowed to be mean and say mean things, simple as that. Remember, you are responsible for how you react to things. If someone you knew in third grade comments on your profile picture about how ugly you are, it is not his fault if you tell him to screw off or break down and start crying. His behaviour is his fault. Your response is yours.
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I'm pretty sure people on the flood are intimidated by attractive people. Flood users have made quite a lot of fake "coming out" videos and dating site profiles of me, just because of the way I look. Might have something to do with a lot of flood users having Autism. I'm not quite sure though.
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1 ReplyGirl: I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ugly Me: No you're not. You're very beautiful Girl: Stop lying Me: I'm not Girl: Yes you are and I'm ugly Me: Know what? Yeah, you are ugly
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3 RepliesOh look, 900+ replies [i]I wonder why.[/i]
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Edited by BC: 7/19/2013 11:12:29 PMHey guys, I'm Bryan Curtis, find me on Instagram if you wanna see what I look like. Honestly, what's ironic is why should you care about what people think of that you will never meet or see. There's a point where your like, your not someone I know or necessarily care about so your opinion is invalid. Sure, words hurt, but when it's coming from someone who has no motive to be nice then why have a motive to care. I'm a nice dude so maybe the stuff I said is something that the average person can't do. People can call you ugly but honestly, if your fine with how you look then why care, be happy with who you are and let the douches do what they do, judge.
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4 RepliesHoly shit, nearly 1000 comments. Female threads go through the roof!
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8 RepliesYou seriously think that we walk right up to people and rate their looks? We aren't a different species, or part of some weird culture. We're all regular people. Now tell me, how many times have you [i]actually seen[/i] someone act the way you've described in real life? And you're right, looks are irrelevant on a forum. That's why people make fun of anyone who would take it seriously on a forum.
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8 Replies[quote](I mean, I've discussed other people's appearances before to friends in a mature manner) however do you guys do so around the actual girls you're discussing?[/quote] So your logic is that it's ok to talk about somebodies looks behind their back but not around them or to their face. Makes Sense.
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10 RepliesEdited by omg a banned: 7/19/2013 9:52:14 PMSo what you're saying is that you should be treated special because you're females? lolok
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31 RepliesEdited by Wyldfyre: 7/20/2013 2:30:06 AMI took Deej's advice, and now my mute list has been expanded by 65 users. Wow. Also, just throwing this out there: there's no shame in "white knighting" a.k.a: being a decent human being. You can stop pointing it out now.
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[quote]What makes you think because these females post pictures of themselves, that you have the right to say you find them unattractive or compare them to one another?[/quote]Because I do.
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If you don't have nothing bad to say don't say it at all. [spoiler]lel[/spoiler]
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I do perfectly fine around women in every day life. I have no beef with you Felicia, Jay is the only reason I've ever made a sexist joke. Just cuz Jay is a whore and a bitch.
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2 RepliesGrowing up there was a saying that a lot of the parents in my neighborhood loved to use, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
