originally posted in:The Black Garden
[b]Blood Knight[/b]
The city had been fouled. She’d suspected as much when first she’d seen the broken spires jutting from the scorched landscape, like the metallic bones of some majestic beast left to spoil in the desert sun. But now there could be no denying whatever corruption had taken hold there, its foul stink heavy on the winds that rattled the structures high above her head.
“This is the place,” she remarked without sentiment.
Beside her, the hovering orb of light flushed a pale rose. [i]“Well, it’s where they dropped their beacon, anyway.”[/i] It flitted towards a glinting sphere of metal half buried in the dust. [i]“See?”[/i]
She didn’t need a machine to tell her what she already knew to be true. A few strides brought her to the beacon, dropped by some unknown Guardian, and she brought her heel down upon the device, hard. The faint popping noise inside her helmet went dead.
“This is the place,” she said, before making her way further into the city.
[i]“Gosh, have you always been this moody?”[/i] the Ghost (which insisted on being called Felisin, of all things) asked. [i]“Or have you only started being this charming since we’ve met? Because it seems to me that-“[/i]
“Quiet.” The duo neared the entrance to some forgotten metro system, its maw half clogged with sand, slain Guardians and their Fallen adversaries.
A tormented howl echoed forth from the blackened depths.
[i]“Oh boy,”[/i] Felisin whispered, fading to a sunlit yellow. [i]“That sounded[/i] really [i]bad.”[/i]
The Titan equipped herself with a heavy rifle pulsing with some heretical arcane energy. “It did.” She marched towards the cavernous entrance as another scream split the silence that had fallen over the desecrated city.
[i]“I really hate this,”[/i] Felisin groaned, unaware that beneath her helmet, the Titan was smiling.
English
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Quit! lmao good shit! With these Fists
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wow! that was really good!
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Edited by PopeBear: 7/18/2013 6:09:08 AMSo, when do I get the rest!? Seriously, despite the fact that I knew the contest rules I was desperately looking for the 'next page' button. Good job.
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I loved this one, my favorite by far. have you read Ian.m Banks? your language and dialog reminded me of him.
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Edited by sagexsage: 7/18/2013 3:14:43 AMAwesome! I just started reading the other contestants and your story has a great relationship with the ghost (who's name gives a nice comedic relief). and the dialogue seems natural.
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How did I miss this story!? Great stuff.
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Great work, I'm really feeling the Felisin snark.
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I'm glad to hear you guys liked it.
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dude -blam!-in awesome!
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I like how you incorporated the Ghost or "Felisin" as you named yours. It seemed fitting since this is how he acted in the E3 Gameplay.
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That was pretty awesome.
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outstanding! I really enjoyed this!