Tonight I finally told a girl I’ve liked for a while now how I fell about her. As the title implies, her reaction wasn’t what I was hoping for.
We’ve been friends/co-workers for quite some time now and her and I had started hanging out about a month and a half ago. Not to long after I started spending time with her, I started to have serious feelings for her. Those feelings finally culminated tonight when we were outside my house with a few other friends of ours. I pulled her aside and asked if we could talk in private. When she reluctantly agreed I already had an idea of how it was going to end. I started telling her that I think of her as more then a friend and I knew things were bad when she said she needed to be alone and had her friend drive her home not too long after. About 10 minutes later I called her and when she didn’t answer I sent her a text asking why she reacted the way she did. This was the response I got (yes, my name is Kyle):
[quote]Lol i really dont like doing this....kyle i already know u like me, ive know for a while now..and i hope u dont think i was trying to send you mixed signals cuz im not...the only signals i tryed sending you were ones saying hey i dont think of you like that, but honestly kyle ur really chill and if i culd i would hangout with u everyday..but just as friends..and i know that sounds wayyy over said but i just was scared for this to happen cuz i didnt want to hurt you. I really dont want this to change our friendship, like the way we act around each other, or us playing xbox, i hope we can still be cool kyle, i really do cuz ur really fun to be around, ur funny,smart, and overall an amazing person and someday u will find the right person. I just never thought of u like that thats all..plz dont hate me:([/quote]
I’m pretty sure the rest of my friends left the second they saw me slam my car door shut and slowly walk into my house.
I’ve never felt this strongly about another person before in my life and being shut down like this made my cry for the first time in probably a decade. This is probably the most depressed I’ve ever felt in my life and it’s honestly overwhelming.
We exchanged a few more texts (which only worsened my mood) and we’ve since then agreed to remain good friends. The problem is: I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to think of her as just a friend. I know that we’ll never be able to be a couple, but I just don’t see how I’ll ever be able to think of her any differently.
I’ll be going on a Spring Break camping trip with her and a few other co-workers in about a month and I’m afraid we’ll have a tough time being together after everything that happened tonight.
My question to you guys is: Have you ever been friendzoned by a girl you have/had strong feelings for? If so, were you able to reconcile your friendship, or was the awkwardness of the whole situation too much for you two to handle?
Any advice would be great you guys!
(Yes, I understand this resembles a blog and you’ve all probably seen a million of these already, but I need to vent and seeing as none of my friends are awake, B.net seems like a decent outlet.)
UPDATE: I thought I might as well put up the messages that we exchanged after that first one she sent me, seeing as they’re pretty strange IMO.
These are all from that same night.
Me (after the one she sent me that’s posted above.): [quote]I understand... goodnight angie[/quote]
Her: [quote]Seriously kyle?[/quote][quote]Plz dont be mad...[/quote]
Me: [quote]Im not upset with you... i just need to try and get some sleep. im sorry for any drama i stirred up. Ive never been that type of person before.[/quote]
Her: [quote]Okay good i just didnt want it to be awkward at all cuz like seriously i love hanging with u! Once i turn 18 in september were going to a strip club k?[/quote]
Me: [quote]I aint about that life.... but in all honesty, given the circumstances, i dont think i’d be able to do that.[/quote]
Her: [quote]Haha go to a strip club?[/quote]
Me: [quote]Ya, maybe things will be different by september though... i would hope so at least.[/quote]
Her: [quote]Lol wht do u mean?[/quote]
Me: [quote]The awkwardness that you know will exist between us... atleast on my side... im sorry, but you’re the first person ive felt this way about so i need time. We’re still friends but i hope you understand why it might be hard for me to think about you in the same way you think about me.[/quote]
Her: [quote]Ya no i completly agree! Maybe i can help u find someone?[/quote]
Me: [quote]Dont feel like you need to do that. Like i said, i just need to give it time.[/quote]
Her: [quote]Yeah i understand[/quote]
Me: [quote]Goodnight angie[/quote]
Her: [quote]Night kyle[/quote]
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Your lucky she didn't just stop talking to you, I lost a great friend with a brilliant personality and sole when I finally expressed my feelings. (She even played the original three Halos (at that time I didn't think girls like that even existed))