I'm making an original story. Below you will find the intro, and below that you will find the general plot. Tell me what you think of it!
[quote]A single drop of rain acted as a foreteller of a heavy midnight storm to come as it splattered against the torn up concrete pavement of a side alley. Sure enough, other droplets followed at an increasing rate until the few other nightly sounds were drowned out. In unison with the pitter-patter of rain came the sounds of click-clacks from a keyboard from a room of a two story house that overlooked that torn up concrete alley. The orchestrator of the percussion from the keyboard was a simple enough young man, somewhat of the spitting image of a geek. Pale skin from spending one too many late nights in front of his computer, thick yet stylish striped rimmed glasses for the same reason, and shoulder length blonde hair that flowed smoothly.
Soon enough, this man noticed the rainstorm that now loomed beneath the night sky. The typing was halted as he pushed back on his rolling office chair and made his way over to his bedroom’s window. His gaze traversed the length of the alley his room overlooked, observing the calming sights and sounds of the rain. After a minute he even opened the window to let the smell of it waft in. Even if pollution in the city constantly carried a smell of something like cigar smoke and grill fumes, the man always enjoyed the rain enough to endure that smell.
Eventually his thoughtful gaze settled upon a small patch of maintenance with a sizable chunk of concrete removed and a couple cones set aside to signify it was being worked on. The young man conjectured it was probably underground pipe maintenance or such, but, in the back of his mind he knew something was wrong with that, and it was probably due to the fact that the exposed dirt was beginning to shift slightly. It wasn’t an immediate realization, his mind was a bit too worn out from that due to hours of research on the Internet. Still, soon enough he gathered that something was abnormal. Pipes didn’t wiggle about in the ground, after all.
The man was a curious individual, and didn’t take things at face value either. A few cones wouldn’t dictate his mind whether or not to use caution around something. Stepping away from the window, he made his way down the steps of his house and to the back door of it. Not caring about a little rain, he didn’t bother with shoes or an umbrella. Past the back door, he now gingerly set foot into the rain and basked in it’s pleasantness for a short second and then turned his attention back to the patch of dirt. With the area vaguely illuminated by sparse streetlights above, he could still somewhat make out the shifting of the dirt and it seemed to grow in frequency as well. Glancing once over the alley to make sure there was no one else about, he strode to the patch and crouched down. The man just couldn’t make up his mind about this odd phenomenon. If it were a water pipe leak, it’d simply spew water. If it were a gas leak, it’d have exploded by now.
Before he could go over any other possibilities that weren’t actually true, the dirt that was there had simply sunk into the ground and fell down out from sight. Received with a well due eyebrow raise, the man slowly but surely attempted to bring his face over the new hole and peer down it. Before he succeeded, something yet more odd occurred. In a great display of speed a person had swiftly climbed out from the hole in a grand blur.
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[quote]In the future, a native and valiant race home to a planet is forced underground after an imperialist invasion of the world by similar humanoid beings. Many years passed until this race saw the light of day again. It was only by severe urging of those in tune with the planet did this race clamor from their hole. When they did, they found that the new owners of this planet had built their capital right atop of their own underground refuge. Their world was now ravaged and industrialized in the style of their enemy, and their changes, as predicted by those planet-tuned individuals, hurt the planet. The capital was highly polluted by four tremendous sized oil rig-esque buildings that belched fossil fuel, no signs of natural life within city limits, and heavy deforestation miles outside the city.
This invading army had tried their best to rid any memory or proof of evidence of the native race, but despite their best efforts, they could not prevent tales from the frontline from spreading and physical momentos of this race from being found. By the time this native race had emerged, their existence was regarded the same way aliens are in our own world. Official types always denied such things but savvy intellectuals knew the real truth. Their communications systems, like our own, always contained information that the government never wanted known. Some turned blind eyes to such info, while others reveled in it and wished to know the entire truth. Of course, no side knew for sure. Their Internet is as open as our’s and anyone can put any info.
The ones who did believe the knowledge the government tried to censor practically formed cults around such ideas. Hundreds of years of verbal retelling often skewed stories. In this case, it turned the image of this native and valiant race from wise, kind, and peaceful humanoid beings to powerful gods who lay await in slumber to the day they find it appropriate to wake. While the physical description of this race remained the same, not much else did. Should a believer of this race ever come across one, recognition was don immediately, and probably fearful respect would follow.
The actual truth of the matter is that this native race, in their tongue, are called the ‘Jharfaye’. The meaning of this name has been lost to time, but those who invaded their world referred to them as ‘Cats’, as they beared resemblance to said animal’s name on the invaders’ home world. Though the only true difference from humans they bared was cat-like eyes and claws, and even their claws weren’t retractable like a cat’s. They were long enough to be a weapon, but short enough to not appear too alien. Almost as if a human had grown their finger and toenails out, painted them black, and sharpened them on a grindstone. A striking trait was would be that after decades upon decades of living underground by only artificial light, their skin tone would be incredibly pale, as if it were the shade and brightness of snow. The most noticeable physical trait would be their outstanding beauty that would be thrice over as beautiful as a human model. Even the males (or lack there of), as appearance wise, they were all mono-gendered feminine looking people. As far as sex would go, they’d be bi-sexed, with every member having both required sexual organs.
Their lifestyle and civilization could be described as being ‘techno-druidism’ of sorts. Keystones of society was attunement with nature, personal freedom, and respect for one another. As such, their technology was inherently ‘green’, government was small and miniscule, and crime rate was near non-existent. Their culture was close to human, minus any environment or person harming ways, though they of course had their own language. There are a few beings of this race who had the born ability to ‘hear the planet’ or simply be in-sync with it. Feel the life force of the planet, communicate with it. The lifespan of this race is many times that of a human’s. So long, that they were thought immortal. And perhaps they even could be, as no Jharfaye in record since the war has ever died of supposed old age.
As for the invading imperialist army, this was...us. Humans. These humans went from planet to planet colonizing and settling them in the name of their god, who was unorginally named ‘God’.. Humans are, of course, prejudice by nature. The discovery of the Jharfaye led to discrimination much as how African Americans were discriminated against. It would seem the Jharfaye were right in the ‘uncanny valley’ as far as Humans were concerned. Just the right blend of familiar yet alien qualities that simply disgusted most humans. Despite their discontent with the Jharfaye, the humans recognized that the world was ripe and great for colonization. And so they soon waged war on the Jharfaye. To the soldiers, it was telegraphed as a holy war, as the enemy were Godless creatures for many reasons, but all it really was, was a land grab war.
Though the Jharfaye were vicious fighters when they had to be, they were vastly outnumbered. A Jharfaye soldier was thrice the soldier any human was,, but sheer outnumbering prevented their superiority from shining through. Upon realization there was no hope against the genocidal humans, the Jharfaye escaped to an underground refuge with a mere hundred or so of them left. The humans found this refuge, but instead of wasting resource on trying to uproot the Jharfaye, they simply built the world’s capital above the spot that they resided in, hoping to bury them. Yet, careless public construction of a building over a particular entrance to the underground refuge would ultimately lead to the retaking of the Jharfaye’s world from the Humans.
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I thought it was kind of intresting.