originally posted in:Cancer
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Amateur photographer Harry Dixon was aboard Jet Blue flight 1290 when he looked out of the aircraft's window and was met with a jaw-dropping image. Dixon immediately took out his 2006 Motorola Razr and captured a single picture before reportedly dying of a heart attack twenty seconds later. Harry was one of approximately four passengers awake while experiencing the miracle of flight, and was also the only person to have his window open.
When reached for an interview, the three conscious passengers all stated that they were great friends of Harry and proceeded to spit out their entire life-stories - each concluding their story with how their last few minutes with Harry were. The flight crew, however, insists that two of those passengers were having sex in the bathroom as the third was watching TLC while shoving complementary cookies and Diet Coke down her throat.
Although the quality of the image is extremely low by today's standards, two flight crew members fainted upon viewing the photograph from the Motorola which they pried from Harry's cold dead hands. Despite attempts to conceal the image from the general public for safety reasons, the image has been leaked on the internet, and officials are urging people to stay away from their computers lest they become paralyzed in amazement by the pure beauty of the world around them. Children and the elderly have been cautioned to blindfold themselves when in public, as four deaths and fifty-seven hospitalizations have already been reported as a result of so-called "flashers;" people with nothing better to do than walk around town and spontaneously display the magnificent image to the people around them.
Top men are working tirelessly to shrink the image down to a more suitable, tolerable size that the public can enjoy, but are encountering severe setbacks as every person charged with the job of editing the image so far that hasn't died has become hallucinogenic, subsequently refusing to cripple the image's already horrid quality on the grounds of it being unjust and unholy.
In other news, the family of a morbidly obese woman is now suing Jet Blue after the woman choked and died after reportedly attempting to swallow a can of complimentary Diet Coke in-flight.
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That belongs here. GOGOGOG