[b]Lesson 1: Facial Hair[/b] There’s nothing manlier than facial hair. No matter how much we advance in the equality of the sexes, growing a thick beard or mustache is something that only men will be able to do (Okay, so some women can grow impressive facial hair, but they end up in sideshows). A badass beard or mustache can be the difference between scrawny twinkle-toed cocksucker and 100% manly man. The only way to make sure you're the dominant male is to have the greatest facial hair of the pack. So floodians, stop shaving and start styling.