Back in the day, you could simply just buy girls lots of drinks until they made poor decisions. Now, this isn't possible. Girls are on to this topic. So what you have to do is bring these items with you to the bar: 1. A funnel 2. A blindfold 3. A puppy 4. Five feet of silicone tube and some lubricant First, you find the girl you want to go home with. Tell her that you want to show her a magic trick. Women are curious creatures, they will agree. Blindfold her. Spin her around in three circles and tell her she will feel a slight pinch. This is when you insert the silicone tubing into her pooper. Be sure to get it up there at least four inches. She may cry out at this point. Quickly remove the blindfold and present the pupy. Any feelings of pain will be quickly overshadowed with glee at the sight of this tiny creature. While she is not looking and distracted, insert the funnel into the free end of the silicone tubing and pour in some vodka. Four-five shots will do it. Reclaim your puppy and say that you want to take him for a walk outside and if she would like to come. Wala. She will become drunk much quicker by the time the puppy does its business outside and you can take her home.