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originally posted in:TFS The Floods Sanctuary
4/17/2013 12:46:06 AM
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How Would You Dispose Of A Body?

So, you're left with a body and you have exactly 1h before your seen and the cops come and blame you for the murder. How do you dispose of the body? Hurry up guys, I could really use the help.

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  • Call the police and ask if they have a handbook on it. They're supposed to serve the people, after all.

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  • Burn it! BURN EVERYTHING!

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  • The old bury a dog five feet above the body trick.

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  • Acid, bath, bitch.

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    • Cut it up into small pieces then throw them in the sewer.

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    • Put it in the bathtub, cut off all the limbs, and then hide it under the floor.

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    • I wouldn't have to.

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    • Feed it to the pigses..

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    • Have you never watched an episode of Dexter? Also,[quote]1h before [b][u]your[/u][/b] seen[/quote] you're better than that.

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    • First, I'd have sex with it. Then, I'd skin it and wear it like a cape. I'd drive to the police station and turn myself in. Plead not guilty due to mental defect or illness. Get released from funny farm after miraculous recovery. Better chance of that working than properly disposing of a body in an hour.

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      1 Reply
      • Call the police, they won't think I did it if I give them the body.

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        4 Replies
        • Someone's been watching too much dexter

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        • Cut it up and burn it in Animus.

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        • Re-animate it.

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        • Edited by TGI Skuldier: 4/17/2013 3:05:56 AM
          Don't know how to help you out with the whole one hour bit.....but I found this from our last discussion about disposal of a body. I'd recommend just the first bit given your time frame. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] TGI Skuldier First, be smart from the very beginning. Pulverize all the teeth, burn of fingerprints, and disfigure the face. Forcing a DNA test to establish identity (if it ever comes to that) might introduce the legal/forensic hurdle that saves your ass down the line. An unidentifiable body can, in a pinch, be dressed in thrift store clothes and dropped in a bad part of town where the police are less likely to question it. I don't recommend this disposal method, I'm just saying an easily identifiable body is an even bigger threat than the opposite. Assuming you have it inside a house where you can work on it a bit, the first thing you want to do is drain it of fluids. This will make it easier to cut up, and slow decomposition a little bit. The best way to do this quick and dirty is to perforate the body with a pointed knife, and then perform CPR on it. Cut the fronts of the thighs deep, diagonally, to slit the femoral arteries. Then pump the chest. The valves in the heart will still work when dead, and the spring back of the rib cage can apply a fair amount of suction to the atria. Do this in a tub. Plug the drain, and mingle lot of bleach with the bodily fluids before unplugging the drain to empty the tub. This should help control the stench of death, which would otherwise reek from your gutter gratings. Do everything you can to control odors. Plug in an ionizer, burn candles, leave bowls of baking soda everywhere. Ventilate the room in the middle of the night, but otherwise keep it closed. Keep the body under a plastic sheet while its in the tub. If you want to bury, I recommend separating the body into several parts and burying them separately. For one thing, it's easier to dig a deep enough hole for a head than for an entire body. This reduces your chances of being discovered while you are actually outside and digging the grave. That is one thing you can't do inside your house, and represents a vulnerable moment you want to keep brief, under two hours. Do it between 3 and 5am, It's also less likely for someone to call the police if their dog digs up some chunk of meat, than if they dig up an entire body. They may assume it's an animal carcass disfigured by decomposition, and leave it alone or dispose of it. Its also more likely the dog will consume it all before anyone knows the difference. A whole skeleton is another story. You can cut a body into six pieces faster than you think. It's not much different than boning a chicken, but it takes more work, a big knife, and time. A hammer will be useful for pulverizing joints or driving the knife deep where its doesn't want to go. Anyway its wise to crush as much of the skeleton as you can along the way. It will aid in making the body less identifiable for what it is as it decomposes. Don't return to the same site six times for six burials. You'll attract suspicion from anyone nearby, and you'll wind up placing the body parts close enough together to be found by any serious investigation. Put them in plastic bags with lot's of bleach, and store in a freezer until you have enough time to bury them all. Depending on what tools you have available, you may find that you get really good at deconstructing the body. You might prefer to slowly sprinkle it down the drain without leaving your house. This avoids the long term risk of discovery associated with burial, and the overwhelming supply of bacteria in the sewer accelerates decomposition, while providing a convenient cover smell.[/quote]

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          • Simple. Leaf blower.

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            • If its a girl - hump her before she gets cold.

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            • [url=http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Groups/Post?groupId=18533&id=60232931&path=1]This[/url] and [url=http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Groups/Post?groupId=18533&id=60232930&path=1]this[/url] are actually the best so far.

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            • How did I acquire this 'body'? That would dictate my response.

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            • Place it in a pen with a herd of hungry wild hogs. Body will be gone quickly.

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            • Eat it.

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            • Like this^ [I]At least have an environmental conscious if you lack a regular one.[/I]

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              5 Replies
              • Pigs

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              • Edited by M37h3w3: 4/17/2013 2:19:58 AM
                Buy an oil drum, a -blam!-ton of lye/bleach/acid and a shovel. Stuff body into drum fill with toxic chemical that will dissolve it, drive it out into the woods, dig a hole, place barrel in it, cover. Take clothing and burn it.

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              • Edited by DarkSpyda04: 4/17/2013 2:21:22 AM
                Just leave it lying on my front lawn. See, the police will never think to look there because they'd imagine the body in a better hiding place.

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              • Eat it?

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