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3/26/2013 5:21:57 PM
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So I need some family advice.

So I have a niece that's in custody of my aunt (no not that one Charlie). Now I don't see her much which is the problem. The reason I don't see her much is my fault. The reason I don't get close to her (or anyone really) is because I'm enlisting in the army next year and I plan to be in for a while. I know kids get clingy, I remember when I was a kid I would cry for an hour anytime my sister left the house. I also know what it feels like to lose someone close (dad died when I was seven). If I do get killed I would rather it effect as few people as possible. So my options are.. A. Don't get close that way she won't miss me. B. get close have her miss me and possibly have serious mental effects on her if I get killed. So which should I do? I want to be part of her life, but I don't want to have to worry about hurting her tremendously if something happens.

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  • Edited by Gamerz_Property: 3/26/2013 5:56:09 PM
    I don't think you're looking at this from a realistic point of view. First, how old is she? That also plays into the decision at hand. For one, I really doubt that her parents / your family will allow her to really fall into a deep enough depression to where she has mental instability. Children are way different than adults, and they don't see things on the level that the rest of us do. Kids dismiss ideas fairly quickly. They know of the news, and may cry for days about it, but if something else comes about, they go straight to that thing. My cousin is in the marines. When he first went in, I was like 12 - 13 years old. I understood the possibilities, and I talked to my aunts and uncles about it aswell, so I was educated on the outcomes. Thankfully he hasn't had an accident, or hasn't died, so I am good. But I'm an adult now - so it may affect me more. I work with 28 children everyday. I'm a huge influence on a lot of their lives. I see these kids 5 days a week, and some on the weekend. I go to their outtings. I go to dinner with the families. I go to their science fairs, and plays. I go to the movies and water parks with them. I take care of them. Now, obviously I'm in no immediate danger doing such things, but you have to have faith that the parents and people around them will help them through whatever way they decide to grieve. I had to learn about this a long time ago, and still have a hard time dealing with it today. I'm moving to Reno, NV because my fiance has a good job over there and we are ready to move into a house. I have only told a handful of the kids about this, because I know a lot of them will be affected by this.

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