Backstory: I'm in bed and my cat is giving me shit by continously getting on my pillow. I thought -blam!- it, and went to my mother's room to borrow one of her many pillows, and sleep on the other side of the bet, let the pussy win.
When I pick up a pillow, I see a durex condom packet (unused as of yet) staring right at me. I laughed and took the pillow.
So, what do?
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It wasn't me... My DNA would not mix with hers to create a child. She must be cheating on me.