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originally posted in:Secular Sevens
Edited by Banned Man 3000:
2/3/2013 11:10:44 PM
29
Need some advice with a friend undergoing depression
For starters I'm originally putting this in S7 because this group is generally more mature.
Anyway, I have a friend, lets call her Rachael . Rachael is seeing a depression counsellor because she's depressed, obviously.
For a slight bit of back story, Rachael was raped a couple months ago, and it's obviously the ultimate root of her depression.
Anyway, she has said that she doesn't want to tell this counsellor about it because she's afraid that if she does it will go to the police, and she doesn't want to let her family find out and be upest (at least that's what she says why she doesn't want to)
But, if the fact that she was raped is what's making her depressed, and she isn't telling the councillor why she is depressed, then would the councillor still be able to "cure" the depression?
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1 ReplyEdited by Ushan: 2/6/2013 4:17:20 AMI've never dealt with someone who's gone through that.I would advise that you try to keep at a distance, but not so that she feels isolated, be supportive. She needs to take things at her own pace.
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3 RepliesOkay, to be honest, I've had depression. Not so much from a horrible event in my life, but rather a bad set of family genetics. So, with that said, I'm not quite sure what it's like to be in the depressive state from such a tramuatic event. However, I will tell you this, there is nothing you can do to help her besides encourage her to talk to the counselor. I suppose you could tell the therapist yourself, and risk losing your friend's trust in you. But only pursue that option if you think there is no other viable choice.
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1 ReplyEdited by Tom T: 2/4/2013 10:12:41 PMCounsellors help by providing a listening ear. They are unlikely to cure anything, particularly if it is serious, but they are a good step in encouraging further treatment options or confrontation with the problem. In this case I hope the girl has someone in her family who will first and foremost give her their love and support, rather than contributing to her misery and shame. If that is the case coaxing her to open up (the counsellor will likely encourage this) will hopefully help. If not, she has even more sympathy from me. You are in a difficult, but also very trusted, important position. I hope you will give her all the support she needs. Having a friend can make such a big difference, particularly to a depressed person. I do not want to offer counsel on seeing the police, as there is too much I do not understand. Although if it were me I would want justice. -blam!- is so traumatic and destructive, that whoever did it deserves to be punished - not only for the sake of the poor girl, but also for the sake of any other girl that might find herself confronted with the man. I do not think the police are obligated to pass the information on to her family, if she does not want them to do so. After having given them information, I also believe going further and entangling herself in any stressful legal proceedings is entirely her choice (please someone correct me if I have any misconceptions here).
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1 ReplyBTW if she is depressed she probably needs medication. The -blam!- isn't causing the depression. It only makes it worse.
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Be there for her no matter her decision and thank her for telling you.
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2 RepliesI deal with extreme depression 24/7. I can't take anti-depressent because my dad won't let me.Have Rachel e-mail me.
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2 RepliesWow, teenagers are so dumb. Just tell the police already.
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2 RepliesYou put it in S7 because they're more mature then you made it public? You dumb? Anyways, I've had a lot of friends that have been -blam!-...it's rough and it's going to take years for them to get over. Just gotta get her mind off of it.
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4 RepliesEdited by Capitons Wang: 2/4/2013 8:55:17 PMIts ok we know you are referring to yourself. Serious note: the councilor should be bound by patient confidentiality, also if she doesnt want to press charges, she cant be forced to. Best bet for her, is to get iot out, where she can work through it, or else it will cause more trouble. Also have the rapist/s been dealt with accordingly?
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1 ReplyShe obviously trusts you, if she shared that with you and not her family. I think you should persuade her to report the crime. It's not just that she needs to come to terms with what happened, but that if the rapist is still at large, he could hurt someone else. Also, do you know this thread is public?
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4 RepliesI won't ask for details, but perhaps the reason she doesn't want to bring the information to her family is because a member of her family is the perpetrator? I could be completely off the mark here, but most victims of sexual abuse and violence know their attackers.
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No. You can't treat depression effectively without treating the cause. I don't understand why she doesn't want the police or her family to find out. The police could arrest whoever did it, and her family could help her cope. She needs to be honest with everyone if she really wants to get better.
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Nobody can truly help her free herself from depression except herself. If she doesn't want to stay like that then she needs to think about whether or not it would be good to remain in that mental state. She needs to start thinking about herself and being happy first and foremost. The incident will always remain with her but there's nothing she can do about it except trying to keep it out of her mind because the longer she focuses on it the worse it's going to get.
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This is one of those times where I hate the new post order... Now I have no idea whether I should respond seriously to this thread or not.
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Burying your feelings or the truth is never good.
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1 ReplyAnother problem could be that the offender has threatened to harm her or close ones if she tells the police, or anything like that.
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4 RepliesEdited by HurtfulTurkey: 2/3/2013 11:36:35 PMCounselors are barred from revealing patient information without consent; she does not need to worry about him/her reporting the crime. *This is only true if she's a minor.
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5 RepliesEdited by Supaman: 2/3/2013 11:28:22 PMI don't need any more help guys. I was actually the one that was -blam!- and was just concealing it. I am going to tell my counselor now.
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So the main response is that the counsellor will have to know the root cause for anything to be done. Great.
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[quote]If she won't tell anyone, you have to.[/quote]
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If she won't tell anyone, you have to.
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1 ReplyNot to make light of such a serious problem, but 'Billy Mays' is probably not the best stand-in name you could have chosen if you want this to be taken seriously. As for the issue itself; she needs to tell either the counselor or her parents immediately. Her family SHOULD be upset. Whoever did it to her should have to pay for what he did. And keeping it a secret is probably contributing toward furthering her depression over the whole ordeal.
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Generally a councilor needs to address the root cause of a problem to help cure a mental disorder. So she should tell her councilor.
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No the depression won't be cured. He needs to know.
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Edited by petitminou: 2/3/2013 11:02:44 PMplay the bad guy, OP. Tell her parents, or the councillor, or someone. Doesn't matter if she hates you. She'll be better off. edit: depending on her age, the police might not have to contact her parents? I'm not sure about the legislation in your parts.
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2 RepliesHuh, if I had put that this was a girl advice thread this thrad would have 35251 replies by now. But actual advice dealing with problematic things? Too much for b.net
