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originally posted in:Secular Sevens
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Edited by Mad Max:
1/30/2013 12:46:17 AM
68
For the longest time I didn't know I was an atheist. [long story]
[i]S7 is pretty quiet these days. Just thought I'd share a little story.[/i]
My dad comes from a very Catholic family; my mom, Jewish. Both had pretty rough childhoods which involved little time for church and religious activities. After they married, they pretty much severed ties with their faith. We never went to church. Never said prayers. Never said "bless you". Never even talked about religion, faith, afterlife, etc. That was normal for me.
It wasn't until my junior year of high school did I realize I was an atheist.
Sure, I had friends who were religious. Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon; you name it. I wasn't unfamiliar with their belief systems, either...I just never questioned my own beliefs...or lack thereof. I grew up in a pretty conservative town, and the Christian church was a big deal. The first thing that someone asked me when I moved in to town was if I was Christian. I'm pretty sure I responded with "umm, I guess??"
It was one particular day that made it clear. One of my best friends, who I had grown up with, randomly said to me during lunch "Max, I'm sorry you're going to hell."
[i]Whoa, whoa whoa. Hold the phone[/i], I thought. I was a good person! I was nice to people, I did community service, I was close with my family and cared for them when they needed me. Surely someone as good as me shouldn't be going to hell. There's no way that such a loving God would send me to hell just because I didn't believe in him. Similarly, someone who was a good, devout Christian such as my friend wouldn't wish such a terrible fate on me.
It didn't click until right then. God wasn't good. He wasn't a universally nice guy who did everything in his power [which is unlimited, mind you; this guy created the [i]universe[/i]] to make sure there was peace on Earth. The world is a shitty place plagued with war, disease, famine, and crime. If God was so powerful, why didn't he do anything to stop it? Which later led me to Epicurus:
[quote]Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?[/quote]
That was it. I was an atheist. I mean, I always have been, but at this point I actually knew it.
I started reading the Bible, just for some context and understanding. The glaring contradictions in passages, and utter hatred that occurs really turned me off. To me, it was a colossal waste of time to even worry about what God thinks of me. He comes off as a needy teenage girl who requires attention at all times.
So, if you read this, great. If not, no biggie. Just thought some of you might like a little story. Hell, I'll even make it not private.
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9 RepliesI see a lot of reason in being an Athiest, but I stick to the 'clockmaker' model of Christianity. I believe that God crafted everything the Universe needs to run (physics, science, everything), then just gave us a little push. Evolution, the forming of stars and galaxies, everything works and the 'clock' runs. If something bad happens on Earth, the effect that has on the Universe is immeasurably small, and is like a clock running a nano-second fast. Not unless the effects get too great should there be any need to intervene. It's not the most sound belief, I know, but I think until we can ultimately disprove the possibility of a creator, I'll hold on to the belief that the creation of the Universe had some driving force behind it. A God doesn't need to hold our hands through every hardship. If he did, what would that make us? We pride ourselves in our ingenuity and bravery, both of which result from bad situations. If God helped with everything, we would have no needs or wants for invention to fill. We would have no reason or motivation to excel and prosper as a species. I think God not fixing our problems ends up being better for humanity in the long run. Time continues infinitely in both directions, and there's no telling what the distant future would hold if our problems simply disappeared. I guess think of it like this: There are two children in two very different families. One is the child of a wealthy couple, and is provided for constantly. The other is the child of a low-income family, and is often left responsible for taking care of themselves. Eventually, both decide to move out. The spoiled child instantly struggles on their own. His parents had told him what he needed to do to be financially stable, but doing those things was not as easy as he had expected. The other child had learned to be responsible with money, possessions, and food, and is able to successfully support themselves on their own. A bit lengthy, but the point is that hardship is often the best way to teach, and necessity is often the best way to learn. Humanity as a whole learns and changes based on the suffering we, as a species, endure. Sometimes, evil has to happen for us to better ourselves. I hope that came across how I wanted it to.
