If you can't log into the account, then you will never be able to unlink it. The only way to remove an account is to log into it. For security reasons, Bungie will never remove an account from anyone's Bungie profile.
There is nothing Bungie can do to assist you.
[quote]Destiny Player Support and Bungie cannot modify platform accounts linked to Bungie.net profiles. To protect player privacy and data, you must be able to log into all linked accounts to prove ownership of them prior to modifying your Cross Save status. If you believe your account has been compromised, please contact the platform’s support for that account to get assistance with account recovery options.
https://help.bungie.net/hc/en-us/articles/360049498031-Destiny-2-Cross-Save-Guide[/quote]
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Is there a way to find out what xbox email address is linked to the account?
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You'll need to contact Xbox support to ty and get it from them.