If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, no you haven’t. Don’t lie to me. I eat so much ramen. It’s not good for me, but it’s there. My sleep schedule is nonexistent. Will I wake up today? Will I go to sleep tonight? Who knows I have trained my friends to steal an apple for me on their way out of the cafeteria. I like apples. The only issue is I have trained too many. I have so many apples. I will not ask them to stop bringing me apples. It makes us so happy. I know lots of people on campus by nicknames I used back at the start of the semester when I couldn’t remember anyone’s name. Me and Chicago only know each other by our home cities names. Space Jam thinks I’m hilarious. I mostly run into him when I’m drunk. Hashbrowns is just everywhere. You can’t go anywhere on campus without seeing him. He’s always eating something and trying to share it with strangers. He has handed me so many sonic chicken fingers. 9Fingers is either incredibly interested in my life, or completely dismissive of my existence. Eugene is actually a girl, and I think she’d be very hurt if she knew that’s what I call her. I don’t think she would know it’s because she has wooden backpack charms that sound like Mr Krabs walking. I got the only dorm without a roach infestation. Go me There is a donut shop in town that opens at 2 in the morning. That’s where you make the most friends. Something about the shared experience of waiting in the cold for a mediocre donut. Some or you are drunk, some of you have been studying since noon, at least one of you is dealing with the death of a situationship, and there’s always someone with a warm car willing to drive you back to campus. Eternal bonds with the donut squad. The campus monks have a dog. I love him. You can only meet him if you’re wandering the Quad at midnight, which sounds like some recipe for an encounter with an otherworldly being, but it’s just because he gets too stressed out with all the students around, so the monks walk him at night. He loves to meet people, just not too many. My backpack is full of Reese’s cups at all times. Not for me, for throwing at people I know. Makes them happy. If you’re looking for attention from girls, even just in passing, wear converse in an interesting color. I can’t tell you how many conversations have been started by complimenting someone’s converse, or vice versa. Girls love converse My art professors are the best dudes on campus. I could talk to them for hours, and if given the opportunity, they would gladly do so. I truly don’t want to be a teachers pet, I hope I don’t come off that way. I just adore good art discourse. Today in studio my prof sat at his computer silently emailing me links to artists and photographers he thought I’d like, and he was right. Professors like you more when you care. I set my alarm as Mississippi Queen because the iPhone alarms weren’t loud enough to get me up. The Smirnoff bottle in the parking lot is mine. You can see it from my bedroom window. I’m against littering but at this point it’s a landmark. I’m not moving it and nobody else cares enough. Someone at school runs an instagram account dedicated to catching students sleeping. I’ve been featured twice I get kicked and slapped more than I expected to in college Go to coleg