I live in the Future War Cult penthouse suite at the Tower on the second floor. My name is [b]Bateman-5[/b]. I’m 324 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced loadout and a rigorous Nightfall routine. In the morning, if my inventory is a little lacking, I’ll use the [i][b]Finest[/b][/i] of Matterweaves while doing my weekly Gambit games. I can do a [i][b]hundred[/b][/i] now without wanting to kill myself.
After the Matterweave, I use a special [i][b]all-natural[/b][/i] Glimmer Shower. In the shower I run several Grandmaster Nightfalls, then a few Crucible games, and to top it all off a red border run of the King's Fall raid with [i][b]only[/b][/i] 1825+ randoms. Then I apply a Concentrated Mattergem which I leave on while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always run my raids with the Day 1 emblem on, because normal raid emblems aren't skilled and make you look bad. I then run Deep Stone Crypt, then a legend-difficulty Dares of Eternity followed by a final Root of Nightmares run.
There is an idea of a Bateman-5. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my Ghost, and you can shake my Sunbracers and feel a hand gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our guardians are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
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Let's see Paul Allen's emblem.
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Has entered the thread.
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Cool it with the anti-Eliksni remarks.
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In case no one was able to tell or read the tags, this is a satire.
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Literally me when a literally me caricature is described perfectly as my literally me in game character doing stuff that I would literally do if I were that literally me caricature if I were in my in game character’s world.
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Care to share some of that good sticky icky?