"Welcome, please- after you. We're not in any rush? Oh, you are! Well best get along then!" No one talks like this, and while it being a shame is not the subject of this post, the greater shame is the sole conflation of (un)common courtesy with the narrow and patristic definitions of chivalry and gentlemanly behavior especially by many men and some women. With the cultural revolutions of the past hundred years, chivalry in its purest and best definition incorporates what by natural man’s standards should be seen as a necessary mental evolution and preserved, however it does not make the act of holding a door chivalrous or the mark of a supposed gentleman. Gentlemanly behavior is merely the civil ideal of a man developed by the older and wealthier generations to define the ruling class, which by all metrics and current averages is still run by males. Therefore, in the interest of brevity and diplomacy, I a [u]man[/u] of unknown shape, age, height and/or weight to you fine readers, will attempt to explain my joy of holding open the door for the human who has crossed my path at such an inconceivably precious and civil point in all the universe, and one that will be repeated as the infinite meme of humanity for all -blam!- it. [i]warning- excessive mansplaining and overly dramatic descriptions of a mundane and trivial social interaction with attempts at verbose descriptions of the details and questionable definitions of other equally mundane tasks ahead.[/i] It has happened, you have made the choice to rise from your respective chairs, gamer-stations and coom caves and visit the local convenience store for a probably unhealthy and commercially appetizing sweets and drinks, if you are Aifos, you buy a potato, but enough about Aifos... You leave your car or bicycle, (perhaps you walked) and you begin your approach to the portal of gas station hot dogs and prepacked shmeckems, bubbly and sugary beverages to effervesce your evening and bonny bon-bons to excite the tongue; iced honey buns; twinkies; the decadence of western civilization before you on bright neon packaging and food grade dyed display just beyond the aluminum framed double-pained doors of glory. You mentally fortify yourself for the task of prying open this treasure chest of goodies and allow your ingress therein. The door will be heavy but not too heavy, therefore you should not be too hasty in your application of strength. In your travels some doors before may have appeared light but been rather heavy; conversely a stuck door or deceptively heavy door might prove to be a laughable sight if such things concern you greatly, or simply an inefficient use of ones time; therefore, to prevent unnecessary delays, you elect to reach the door and apply the principles of testing force, and acting force.[u][i]footnote 1[/i][/u] For more information on how to open a door, please consult this lovely informational [url=https://youtu.be/Wof0xPUmW38]video[/url] created by Danish Scientists of the Tietsenbaum Institute of Chicago. Suddenly, the unthinkable! Another person! HORROR! What will you do? Your brain instantaneously calculates that by all estimations you will both arrive at the doors [i]simultaneously[/i], the terrifiying possibilities cloud your mind... O_o A catastrophic collision? X-X an unintentional act of harassment? @_@' an awkward social interaction ending in a poorly received apology? If one of you does not act, tragedy will befall you both... [spoiler]Dun, dun DUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN[/spoiler] All seems lost, you make final peace with your god, and then... A miracle... "Please, after you" The other human, they have sacrificed their time to save yours, and [i]your[/i] door opening hand wriggles in shocked incomprehensible ecstasy. You experience a slight euphoric confusion and as you pass the strangers smile beams momentarily and then returns to its natural scowl. Words catch in your throat, and your heart beats .2% faster for .05 seconds. Your response is reduced to an imperceptible nod, and you enter in regaled splendor, having been the receiver of a thankless and benevolent grace. And then you forget what you came to the store to buy… [i]NOW[/i] let us examine the possibilities of this encounter. It is unclear whether the stranger and you are both entirely aware of the other except on a human level thus far, or perhaps you have already superimposed the first person you would hold the door for. If this is the case, BAD STOP THAT. No I’m kidding sorry- I apologize for that, but If we were to define the gender of these two individuals we are inviting the influences of femininity and masculinity, both very powerful influences held by a wide variety of men and women (defined in a purely clinical sense) if we are to invite the science of [b]het[i]er[/i]os[i]e[/i]x[i]u[/i]al[/b] relationships as well as [b]h[i]o[/i]mos[i]e[/i]x[i]u[/i]al[/b] and [b]Atypical[/b] relationships, this post will become far too long, and rife with medical inaccuracies, so therefore let us define the stranger generally as either possessing more masculine traits, or more feminine ones. You know your own exploits and definitions, as well as your preference for either the masculine or feminine in a prospective partner, new friend or pleasant acquaintance. It should go without saying that nobility and good manners should know no age, gender, -blam!-, or non-binary status. In countless interactions observed the door opener and holder and the one who enters first are defined mostly by the act of either entering or leaving, and-specifically the hinge of the door. Revolving doors eliminate this conundrum entirely as they provide a perfectly socially partitioned and speed controlled portal through which to access the other side, so we will eliminate them. Saloon or Batwing doors possess spring loaded continuous hinges, but often require the effort of both the holder and the entering party[u]footnote2[/u] Continuous hinge doors provide the most efficient and grandiose of holding opportunities but also require twice the hand use for its most glamorous use and its construction is often delicate, we will tackle that later. For our purposes we will examine the finer details of holding, the single action flat hinge door, or as I like to call it: the flapperfug. When approaching a flapperfug door from the entering direction in most of the western world, the door hinge in a public building, business or otherwise, will only open in an outward direction. This means that the holder must do one of two things; they will either cede the victory of entering the building first in the interest of the other individuals unimpeded passing, or proceed to enter and provide a cursory though not unappreciated offering of the door as the second person approaches. Remember, the act of opening a door properly takes both time and effort and any attempt to ease that burden should be seen as both polite and courteous, but context of one’s door opening and many other factors may affect how well one or the other is received. Rushing to the door and bowing as the other person enters could be received oddly or pleasantly! A turned back and lingering open door may likewise be seen as rude or even appreciated deeply for its simplicity and efficiency and distance. Remember, our “stranger” in the previous example was an unknown avatar of the possibilities, we just happened to roll a celestial 7. Use your best judgement when approaching this situation and be courteous and understanding when confronting it from the other end, be wary but polite. When exiting a building this open ended and complicated formula of judging the proper etiquette of door holding is cut down to simple and authoritative efficiency. The first to exit holds the door, the second person exits after. To hold the door and allow the other person out first is wholly inefficient and will undoubtedly always impede both the door holder and the other individual, it should therefore be avoided at all costs. If the other person is closer, allow them to exit first- but be warned- the other person may not hold the door for you. As previously stated in parentheses common courtesy is often (un)common. Should you reach the door, pass through quickly and efficiently stand aside while holding the door with your left or right hand and allow the other individual to clear the threshold before continuing on your way. In both entering and exiting a flapper fug door, the effort of holding a door is both trivial and passing, its rewards are fleeting and often there is no interaction from the other individual. By opening the door you effectively signal socially “I have opened this door and I am the victor” and by holding this door for another, you signal “I share with you my victory, and all the spoils within it”. But you are neither owed nor is your passer obligated to thank you. Because it is expected, a thank you is but a gratuity. But I LOVE it. I won’t stop I tell you… I’m going to hold every -blam!- door I see sucker. For boys girls men women, and non-binary individuals alike. If anything; just for that potential dopamine hit of a smile and a thank you, because smiles are contagious, nobility knows no class, and common courtesy should never be uncommon. :D [u]1.[b]Testing force[/b] is the act of applying a brief and low effort force to a door to test its weight and ease of opening, [b]Acting force[/b] is the active and smooth acceleration of force, appropriate to open a door of weight and free-swinging potential as previously discovered by a testing force attempt[/u] [i]2. [url=https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Bddr_gd1muY/mqdefault.jpg]A simple visual survey of door-hinges[/url] [/i] [spoiler]tl;dr just hold the door, forehead, its not like its not appreciated even if its confused, stop worrying about getting a girlfriend and live your life[/spoiler]