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5/6/2021 1:28:46 PM
8
So one time, I was walking down the street
And this guy walks up to me and says, "hey man take this coupon, the foods really good at this place"
And I'm like "no thanks, I'm good" and he starts following me asking me to just take the coupon. so I continue to say " no I don't want it. The guy smelled like poo so I think he was grifting or something. But he keeps following me and asking me how my day is going and I'm trying to polite and all so I say "Ah well I'm alright, how about you" to which he replies "I'd be alot better if you'd take this coupon". Now I look at the coupon and it seems nondescript, can't read where it's from, its folded in fours.
"well can I see it?" I ask. He says "no, you have to just take it." Now i'm getting irritated, this guy is bothering me, he keeps following me down the road and he wants me to take this Mystery coupon which I have no idea where it comes from, the guy smells like literal crap, and now he's starting to aggressively pitch this god-damned coupon like he's selling a used car. I finally turn to the guy and ask him "If I take this fricking coupon will you leave me the heck alone" He says yes, I take the rolled up coupon, and he bolts. I notice the coupon is wet, and as I unfold it a single rotten looking tooth falls out. After scalding the flesh off of my fingers at home and scrubbing hands raw after handling this Homeless Tooth-fairy's dental gift of gum rot. I looked at the coupon and noticed it was for McDonalds- not only did he give me is filthy diseased ridden tooth, but he lied about the food being good.
Kept the tooth though, who knows what magic hobo-teeth contain.
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3 RepliesEdited by John Marston: 5/6/2021 1:57:59 PMSo owne time, i was wawking down the stweet awnd thiws guy wawks up tuwu me awnd says, "hey man take thiws cUwUpon, the fUwUds weawwy good at thiws pwace" awnd i'm wike "no thanks, i'm good" awnd he stawts fowwowing me asking me tuwu juwst take the cUwUpon. so i continUwU tuwu say " nOwO i dOwOn't wawnt iwt. The guy smewwed wike pUwU sOwO i think he was gwifting ow something. But he keeps fowwowing me awnd asking me how my day iws going awnd i'm twying tuwu powite awnd aww so i say "ah weww i'm awwight, how abouwt uwu" tuwu which he wepwies "i'd be awot bettew if uwu'd take thiws coupon". Now i wook at the cUwUpon awnd iwt seems nondescwipt, cawn't wead whewe iwt's fwom, its fowded in fouws. "weww cawn i see iwt?" i awsk. He says "nOwO, uwu have tuwu juwst take iwt." now i'm getting iwwitated, thiws guy iws bothewing me, he keeps fowwowing me down the woad awnd he wants me tuwu take thiws mystewy coupon which i have nOwO idea whewe iwt cowmes fwom, the guy smewws wike witewaw cwap, awnd now he's stawting tuwu aggwessivewy pitch thiws god-damned cUwUpon wike he's sewwing a used caw. I finawwy tuwn tuwu the guy awnd awsk him "if i take thiws fwicking cUwUpon wiww uwu weave me the heck awone" he says yes, i take the wowwed up cUwUpon, awnd he bowts. I notice the cUwUpon iws wet, awnd as i unfowd iwt a singwe wotten wooking tUwUth fawws out. Aftew scawding the fwesh off of my fingews at home awnd scwubbing hands waw aftew handwing thiws homewess tUwUth-faiwy's dentaw gift of gum wot. I wooked at the cUwUpon awnd noticed iwt was fow mcdonawds- nowt onwy did he give me iws fiwthy diseased widden tUwUth, but he wied abouwt the fUwUd being good. kept the tUwUth though, who knows whawt magic hobo-teeth contain.
