[spoiler]After re-writing a story over 10 times, I decided to take a break from that plot and write something else, so now... Origin story! Yeehaw mothertruckers[/spoiler]
Commander rested his old tank commander’s cap over his eyes. He couldn’t help thinking to back before Boss took him, back when he served his country with pride. He and his crew were feared by their enemy, and their officers awarded them many medals. They were like family, and acted as if they were too. When their tank was struck down by an enemy tank destroyer, most of the crew died. Only the gunner and he remained. There was fire, but it was oddly silent, as the driver and loader died on the spot. A loud ringing sounded in Commander’s ears, after some of the shock wore off, and his gunner, James, had a large piece of metal stuck through his chest, but didn’t look as if he was in pain. Quickly, commander lugged him out of the ruined tank, and dragged him over to a natural trench, along with a first aid kit. James' eyes looked almost thankful, to whom Commander could not tell. His breathing grew ragged and shallow, Commander knew it would do no good to try to save him now. The metal had gone through his stomach, rupturing it. Commander wept over his dead and dying friends and felt guilt wash over him. He was the commander of the tank, he was supposed to be to one to take responsibility. The battle seemed to have moved on from them, their allies being pushed further and further back. There was tranquility, with just he and James, and the dry sobbing coming from Commander. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see James smiling at him. Then, nothing left. James fell limp, and his head fell back. He was gone. Commander picked up his friend, his brother, and carried him to the husk of the tank. He set James in his seat, the gunsight shedding light on his smiling face, and sat down. Either a retrieval crew would find them, or they’d die. Commander found it fitting to die with his friends, in a blackened and silent metal grave. Booming explosions in the distance told Commander his allies had not yet given up. Good. They had to cover the main infantry’s retreat, it didn’t matter how many of them died. The leaders didn’t care, at least. Then, a large white light showed through the holes and hatches of the tank. Commander looked up and thought that it was an explosion at first. Then, he thought that perhaps he was being taken to Heaven, or Valhalla, or something. Something was off about it, but before he could figure out what, a wave of Good Will flooded over the tank and knocked him to his seat, and he had the feeling of rising, couple by jousting around of the empty ammunition and bodies of his friend. He heard a voice, commending him for his honor shown in battle. He peeked his head out the hatch and saw only light, yet the voice spoke more. It assured him his friends would not leave him. The tank seemed to come to life at that moment, repairs magically happening around him, tracks being stitched back together with no one around, or ammunition being restocked without anyone but him in the tank. His brother's bodies glowed, and vaporized, the particles seemingly flowing into the tank. The engine started, and the turret began to move, and even the machine gun ports seemed manned. Everything looked as if his brothers-in-arms were still alive. Then, more information. He had a mission and Mission for his Boss. His Boss saved his friends, and he would repay him.
Commander woke from his memories by a whirring from Panzer. He noticed a tear flowing down his cheek. “Huh,” Commander said, “Must’ve dozed off.” Commander got up from his seat and looked around. He could almost see the men he fought with still manning the tank, excited to go and win their next battle. Panzer gave off the feeling of knowing what Commander was thinking of and whirred again, happily this time.
[spoiler]I'm open to critiques, please tell me what I could've done better! (I do sometimes get randomly defensive, even if I tell people I accept criticism...)[/spoiler]
Finally fixed the tags lmao
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Okay. For the most part, it’s great. One tip though, use paragraphs. It’s a little hard reading it. If you put it in paragraphs of 5-7 sentences, you’ll be fine. [spoiler]nibbles crayon[/spoiler]
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PANZER Self-bump