My dad said recently, in the actual accent of the character, “Master has given Dobby a glock, Dobby is [b]thug[/b]”
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"HEY YOU'RE NOT SMILING RIGHT NOW! YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY ALL THE TIME! SMILE! EAT YOUR CARROTS! [b]COOK THE DOG! COOK THE DOG![/b]" COOK YOUR OWN DOG?! NO CHILD SHOULD BE MADE TO DO THAT! DOGS SHOULD BE RAW AND LIVING!
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"Gotta respect the guy who looked at bread and was like: Bake it again." -my dad, on the creation of toast
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“Stinks like breakfast?” My sister and I were talking, and when our mom came up the stairs, that’s apparently what she heard. I don’t even remember what we were talking about, we laughed for a good three minutes :P
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Me: What’s for dinner? Dad: Chicken nuggets! Me: I don’t want those tonight. Dad: Too bad. Me: Up yours. Dad: Chicken nuggets up my butt!
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Expecting a well done, I hand over my marked essay to parental unit who says “98%? What happened to the other 2%?”.
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"No. Popcorn Chicken is for family meals only." Context: I spent 30$ on bags of popcorn chicken and apparently my family owns now instead of me, the person who bought it for myself.
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You'd have to ask my kids 😜
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"some people need help with there opinions" also know as a dictatorship
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Edited by Ogma: Destroyer of Worlds: 3/5/2021 4:02:15 AM“Do as I say, not as I do.” Translation: I am a hypocrite and a wannabe dictator. Literally one of the worst mentalities ever.
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"You should play a sport"
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“I don’t want to vaccinate my child.”
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Edited by Knavenformed: 3/5/2021 8:34:19 AMNot funny or anything said. But my father once was opening a toy box with my knife and accidentally opened his hand between the thumb and index finger. Then he just calmly took a towel and drove to the nearest hospital while the tower got bloodier by the minute. He got out fine that day. A cool moment to teach about life.
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Edited by mikeyrox1234: 3/5/2021 12:37:20 AMMe to Father: “What are you looking at?” Father to Me: “Not much” Me to Father: “You didn’t raise much” Father to Me: “Stop that” This happened a few times until he stopped responding with “Not much”... I win 😂😁
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Back in the 90's, the old man, would tell me every time, when I left for work, "Watch out for the deer, the railroad tracks, and the wild women." Now I had to cross the railroad tracks to get to work, and every so often there was deer, but damn Dad, where are these wild women you speak of? It's a rural area, but the women here are definitely not wild. Not even at the bar.
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I love you son ha ha ha [spoiler]twirls stache [/spoiler]