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8/26/2020 3:17:26 PM
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OwlTV: Wednesday News segment.

Howdy partners, and welcome to the Wednesday news segment where we go over the news in Offtopic for the week. On today’s episode we have some more RPers, a return of many old friends and enemies, and possibly a raid. More on that in a moment. To start this off we’re going live to an RP with our RP correspondent: Owl 227. So tell me, 227, what’s the feel for RP nowadays? [quote]Well 113, it’s seeming like there are more posts focused on personal level RP between characters, but some strong contenders for the older combat based ones.[/quote] I see, thank you 227, stay safe out there and praise the sun. [quote]Will do 113.[/quote] Now to get into the depths of a similar combat RP we have OAFL judge Owl 99. Tell us 99, what’s your job here as an arena judge? [quote]Well, 113, it’s really simple, I’m there to judge the challenges within OAFL, and make sure that no godmodding or time exploitation occurs. Me and a panel of the finest Offtopic has to volunteer are currently refining our review process to ensure fair, and interesting fights happen.[/quote] Interesting. Tell me, what do you think of the claims that OOFL and OAFL are in a competition for attention? [quote]Oh that’s nonsense. OOFL is less niche than OAFL is currently, since the rules for OOFL are essentially just sign up and see if you win. While OAFL requires combatants to challenge the other and engage in RP combat. That’s why OAFL is under the RP segment while OOFL is its own show.[/quote] Fair enough. Thank you 99. I’ll let you get back to work. [quote]No problem, 113.[/quote] Alright, so we’re gonna head to commercial break and after that we can get into the return of many of our older users here on Offtopic. [quote][i]Inspirational Music plays[/i]Are you lonely? Depressed? Do you think your life has no meaning? Well we have the perfect remedy! Weird inter dimensional vortexes! Go down exit 666, turn left at the Giant endlessly burning pile of corpses and keep driving until you see the giant Lego House. Also, in the void you may find a [Redacted] Lego brick. OooOoOoo spooky. So come on down to the Lego house! [i]This message is sponsored by the Lego king. This ad is meant for Adventurers only, Lego King and LegoKing LLC. Are not responsible for any injuries sustained while in the void as we have no idea what’s going on in there.[/i][/quote] And we’re back, let’s talk about the sudden influx of old users. Why are they returning now? Where were they all this time? And how can you protect your garden from them? Well let’s start with why they’ve returned. I have no idea, and frankly no one here at the studio does either. The fact we’re all the same person, while worrying, does in fact mean we can’t think of separate ideas about a third of the time. As for where they were, some never left! Spooky right? Well, a few Naturally went to other places, but as Owl Prime says: “No place like home, but damn if Offtopic ain’t close.” Now for the important issue: How do you protect your garden from these old users? Well it’s simple really, a nice electric fence and automated anti air system will definitely still do the trick. They may be older but the tried and true methods of disintegration, shooting, and exploding still work. Keep those tomatoes fresh with the blood of intruders. When we get back from this break we’ll go ahead and talk about this “raid” that’s allegedly going on later today. [quote]Cimeries industries is in need of personnel aquatinted with weapons design and keeping secrets. Inquire with the Lord of the Twilight Valley for job positions.[/quote] ... and I was like, damn that’s a cold turkey. What? Oh, we’re live. Ahem. Now to the news of this “Raid” what is it, where is it, and what is the goal? Well, Owl Prime has deemed Destiny 2 too salty recently and requires some good polite posts, and is recruiting any who are interested in joining for the glory of diluting the salt, even a little bit. Well, that’s all for this week, stay tuned for more news. I’ll see you all next week, this is 113 telling you to have a nice day.

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