that's right I'm talking to you, your not the man I married 10 minutes ago, I want a divorce... No, seriously; take a look at yourself and take stock of everything you've been through, how it's changed you, how you tried to change; maybe you were successful; maybe you tried not to change; maybe you changed more than you know yet. Maybe you're sitting at your desk at work, or on your phone in virtual class, carefully adjusting the screen and surreptitiously checking for your boss or teachers wandering gaze, maybe you're skipping all of that; playing hooky, sitting at your gaming station, not a care in the world. Or maybe your reading this and your fighting illness or grieving a loss. Maybe you're celebrating a birthday, or an achievement, yours or maybe someone else's. Maybe your putting in a lunch order from behind a mask, wondering if the cashier washed his hands today, or if the kitchen staff are wearing gloves. Maybe you're dreading something, or your angry about a change that's happening now, maybe you're bargaining to keep things from changing, maybe you're curled up in a corner wishing the change would just pass you by, maybe there are tears in your eyes. Maybe you're laughing, reading a joke or deriding a silly change, Maybe you're mocking a rival, or maybe you're fearing an enemy, who's change would bring you misery. Maybe the change is what you fear the most. I have changed... in the past 2 years I feel I have changed more in my life then I ever have, is it a good change, or a bad change? idk but i know I've changed, my face looks a little more lined, the hair on my head is disappearing, my voice has taken on a gravelly quality from it's usual clean tenor, and my eyes look different, they look darker then they used to... no i won't tell you my eye color... I've noticed my own behavioral changes too, I can't pull all nighters without being miserable the next day any longer, I'm in bed by 10 at the latest, sometimes earlier. because of Covid ive gained a little weight, got a nice round beer belly atm... anyways On July 21 2020, Gramma Speaker passed peacefully in her bed around noon time surrounded by the people who loved her most, she underwent the final change on this plane for all of us, one that we will all endure someday. I miss her greatly, especially her silly humor and her goofiness, but also her loving presence. Losing her was another change that could not be halted, or bargained off. And because of it, I changed as well. I'll get back to you when I've figured out how much. Gramma Speaker was a nurse, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, an aunt and a dear friend to many people, if you gathered all of the lives she touched in her calling and lifetime in a single room... lets just say I don't think you could find one big enough. This post is rambl-y enough at this point, so I'll just wrap up with this: [quote]Change is coming always, and the more I resist it, the more it acts upon me.[/quote]