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3/10/2020 6:00:42 AM
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President Trump Announces State of Emergency Over Coronavirus. Pentagon Raised To Defcon 5

Amid growing fears and panic over the virulent Covid 19, which has already claimed the lives of 22 Americans (a staggering 1/10000nth of the deaths claimed by the common flu), President Trump addressed the Nation via Twitter, from a bunker in an undisclosed location: [quote]My fellow Americans, Im sorry. It's over. All you can do now is pray, and buy as much -blam!-ing toilet paper as you can. Please know that you will be in our thoughts and prayers...[/quote]

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