Just a little warning this may be a little long for some so if you dont like reading much dont bother I guess. But if you have the time and care then thank you.
For the past phew days iv slowly started to drift away from my favorite game, and while there's many issues within the game and a lot of people asking for change my reason for leaving the game more often now isn't a break from it or due to the current content we have.
My Issue I have had to face in destiny for 5 years since midnight launch is selective mutism and severe anxiety. I got my ghost edition and all the collectors editions after and dished out so much money into the game with passion that I felt like it was doing some good to destiny in some way.
I had a tight knit group of friends due to me struggling to socialize who I was able to complete a phew raids with in destiny 1 up until destiny 2 leviathan raids. I can only talk to certain people and most of the time when I try to talk to others nothing comes out no matter how hard I try until I feel comfortable enough the words freely come and I can finally say hi to someone after a year with them.
Imagine playing with someone who cant physically talk to you until years apart, LFG sounding great at this point huh? that's the next thing I wanted to get to with my little destiny trilogy story and how posters on my wall came to crumples on the floor.
When destiny 2 got released and it was on PC a lot of my friends in my tight knit group began to drift apart we would do less raids and less trials and less everything until people in my group just stopped playing destiny be it with them having families of their own or just simply moving on I stuck with it with one other friend but that other friend had moved to PC so on console I realized quickly that I was on my own.
I moved to PC with him but he had a family so wasn't around much anymore so I continued to play through destiny 2 and proceeded to get redrix's claymore solo then moved into shadowkeep and soloed what I could here and there such as nightfalls and farmed guns for many hours, managed to do shattered thrown without dying after around my 3rd try and continued with reckoner title in season of the drifter but I came to realize that I began to let raids in the newer dlc's pass by because of the infamous 6 players needed. This is where destiny began to feel like not a passion anymore but rather a miserable cess pool of watching time.
Every raid I let go by. I knew I could complete them and I wanted to but a metal wall not even brick was stopping me, I did all the blacksmith title stuff except the raid parts I did all the moments of triumph stuff except the raids parts and obviously now its gone I had only one triumph in that title to complete and I didn't due to fear of other people and now my destiny that I enjoyed at every level, every moment every quest and mission has become something where I know I can do a lot of things in this game but match made activities with lfg I cannot.
Now iv come to relies maybe this game isn't for me. The social aspect of this game is.... difficult for me to cope with I am trying to stay with it as much as I can and continue to let these activities go by and be considered a "casual" for not completing them but iv felt like this is not the way to keep playing destiny and that maybe my destiny was nearing its end.
If you currently suffer from these kind of problems such as social anxiety or are simply just deaf or mute. I hope that you have a good time with destiny as I did and I hope you all have a lot of people around you that can help you enjoy every part of this game and I hope that you dont let your problems get in the way of enjoying your destiny like I did.
Thank you for reading my destiny story and my 5 year guardians journey.
EDIT: Thank you all to who have commented with kindness and compassion although there are many I highly hope that this post may also help others find friends or help with what they are missing in destiny I have taken back from this post much feedback and I feel less alone. I hope that you all have a good day on destiny!
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i have general anxiety (not as severe as yours, though) and i have a group of irl friends that i play with on xbox. i have a clan that you are more than welcome to join if you want. I don’t like lfg because half of everyone are douches, i just don’t worry about it. i’m not that far into the game admittedly but playing with a small group of people that you can talk with really helps. there are a few people willing to let you join their clans, i recommend trying it out. The thing about it is that nothing terrible can happen, but i know it takes time so keep trying gaurdian!
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Edited by Ubiquitous Pixel: 1/9/2020 8:45:43 PMSounds like your catering to your anxiety disorder. You need to be put into situations that make you uncomfortable. Working around with an anxiety disorder treated as almost like a child you have to consider first, is wrong. I’d suggest putting away D2 for awhile and conquer the social anxiety disorder in real life first. Then come back to D2 as it would become a lot easier. Got to make yourself do uncomfortable things to acclimate your brain into seeing the social aspect of life isn’t a threat. Don’t make excuses or look for ways to feed your comfort. It’ll never change then. Talking with others who share the same feelings can help, but they also need to be people who will be a positive influence to combat the irrational triggering of anxiety. I’ve spent my whole life with severe social anxiety. I still have it. It’s even created the development of depression. Went to a cognitive psychologist and got tons of advice and knowledge. All to which I said is true, but I even find it hard to follow my own advice. Takes time. But feel some sort of comfort that there are many of us who feel this way. But few who want to actually take steps to fight it. Message me if you ever need to talk. I can always be an ear to listen or a voice to motivate. Hope things can get better. [spoiler]Also, anxiety is normal. Everyone has it. It’s an evolutionary protective trait. When it’s over active is when it’s a problem.[/spoiler]
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A lot of great people commenting here. Awesome community. OP, I hope you take them up on their offers - keep playing brother.
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Edited by Zenako Kiriota: 1/10/2020 5:54:59 AMYour not alone buddy I know how you feel, I too have one friend that I played most of destiny 1 with as well as destiny 2 because I have problems socialising as well. All I can say is just try taking risks one step at a time, believe me I know it's difficult but I was bad enough that I had a clan with just me and this friend who is like a brother to me. Best thing to do is try and find out why socialising makes you feel this way, for me it was disappointing my teammates I couldn't stand it. At least solo I'd only disappoint myself probably came from when I was a kid in school, but any chance I'd avoid groups anyway I could. Until I met a player who was probably one of the nicest destiny players I've ever met, he noticed my clan was dying asked me and my friend if we needed help and if we wanted to join his clan and welcomed us with open arms. I'm in that clan to this day still a bit of a solo player and loner but not as bad as I was so chin don't give up. PS ever want someone to jump in a game with on destiny give me a shout, I've the same name on steam.
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Hey there, Thank you for posting. I don’t know how old you are, not that it’s that important but there are a lot of us about in game with issues relating to socialising and doing stuff so you certainly aren’t alone. I’m 54, Autistic and I just cope really badly with listening to verbal instructions in raids. It gets chaotic, too much talking and my anxiety goes through the roof. I’ve stopped raiding and I can’t say I miss the stress...nor the fact that the rewards aren’t that great. Looks like there are some good people out there who want to help so it may be that your journey can continue. I hope so if it’s something you enjoy. Don’t be put off by the trolls and haters, they just don’t get what it’s like to be us. Take care out there Guardian, and good luck to you!.
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Edited by NeoReaper82: 1/10/2020 1:57:09 PMI have severe anxiety and have none of these problems
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I made this offer to someone down in your comments, same applies to you too.. I’ll just copy paste it as I’m too lazy to rewrite 😂 [quote]Hey mate, I’m the founder of a clan focused on being laidback and enjoying the game. We are still human, so we can get a bit annoyed if raids go for hours...which they tend to do with us as we aren’t amazing gamers at all times lol. But we never rage out at each other or anything. We talk a lot of shît but it’s all light hearted for the funsies 😁 We have no requirements, no rules demanding participation in anything...if you want to raid and we have a raid going, you can if you want. Essentially we are just a bunch of randoms who can ask for help/company if needed/wanted. I can send you an invite if you like? No worries if not obviously 😋 You can even just play solo and benefit from the clan engrams if you want to 🤷🏻♂️ Lemme know mate 🙃[/quote]
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Hopefully you can find a good clan. I have a visual impairment as well as mild Tourette's. I have started doing some of the shorter raids/dungeons with them. I don't get ridiculed for the occasional "shitcracker" or "dickfiddler" outburst like used to happen in the past.
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It’s hard trying to love playing this game so much when you’re unable to socialize with others due to mental blockers and what if scenarios. Due to one or the other I haven’t done a single raid and have been wanting to try getting 1k voices for a very long time but scared to because of the what if’s and what I read in this community ( I know it’s a small part) but that self blocker keeps me to playing solo or just two manning with my brother
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Sorry you didn’t have the best possible destiny experience PvE wise. I’ve only ever seen one person who has troubles like this, he’s completely deaf in 1 ear and nearly deaf in the other. He doesn’t like speaking because he thinks his ‘tone deaf voice’ is annoying. so When black armory came out i asked him if he wanted do last wish with me. He responded with ‘i need to talk for that don’t i?’ And my answer was no. Yes raiding with all people having a mic is nice but its completely fine to raid without being able to talk. Got 2 of my other friends and 2 randoms. All 4 were fine with raiding with a non-communicative person. As long as you can listen, you can play. Raid went incredibly smooth, only took us 2 hours and boy was he happy to get raid loot. My point is, even if you have social anxiety or a physical thing going on to limit or remove your ability to speak doesn’t mean you have to be excluded from raids! Find groups that would like to raid with you. Hell if your on Xbox, i’d love to raid with ya.
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Harrow you make some valid points and i agree that eververse should be removed from this game but,Something dark stirs in the depths of the Hellmouth. We can feel it. A Hive abomination bred for unthinkable evil. We must pierce the veil of their Summoning Pits and destroy this creature before the Hive unleash it upon us all.
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You wrote a whole essay....
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You need to go to Reddit and join r/D2sanctuary That group was made for mutes and socially anxious people. They do raids without mics. Go on Reddit and look them up. You will be surprised how many people feel like you there. They have clans for all platforms too. Good luck
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Edited by SwankyButters: 1/9/2020 12:46:05 PMI'm not really shy but I don't like pressure, not one little bit. THAT is what you get raiding with people who complain every time you wipe, etc. So I'm not shy so to speak but I HATE the pressure, so maybe that is a version of shy? In any case, it's why I always wanted match making in this game. I can play, everyone can keep their mouth shut and try to learn and complete the raid, without hearing all the nonsense. It's one of the things that has really hurt this game for me. So many raids I haven't done but it's better than dealing with all that garbage.
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Edited by Krantzstone: 1/10/2020 12:15:56 AMThere are so many people in a similar situation as you, so you are definitely not alone. Thank you for sharing your issues with the game, and hope Bungie heed your words. I'd add that all these ableist responses to the OP just highlight why even people without social anxiety would be advised to _not_ socialize with Destiny 2 players, if the forum trolls are in any way representative of the kind of players who play this game.
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It’s players like you that the community need to stand by and ask for improvements in the game. I hope everyone who is against optional MM reads and understands your point of view. I have recently joined r/D2Santuary on reddit and they are a group of players that play with no mics at all. They accept every type of player and I hope you choose to join and be involved so you don’t have to miss out. Eyes up guardian and I hope we cross paths one day.
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Great responses below. Reach out and make the connection. The first step is hard (some might not respond) but just a few connections will improve your gaming experience and will be well worth it.
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Hey, I had some anxiety problems myself when it came to raids,I dont exactly know how you feel because I am not you but I will say this.If you at some point want to try a raid I could be more than happy to assist,even without a mic we can find ways to communicate even if it is with an emote.I hope you have a great day and for you to finally find a game or a way on this particular game to have fun and enjoy it!
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I know your feel. But i met some people, just like me and you, and i actually started to do raids and having fun! So, as a person who passed for that i tell you this, my dms are open to you. If you need help with anything, just dm me. I know you just said that you're too shy for it, so, i dont pressure you. Also, i hope you dont quit the game forever, i would be really sad if that happens. Exists too many people like us, sadly :( Cheers
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Not sure if you’re looking for a clan. If you are get in touch and let me know it’s you. Read the rest tho: Though he just left for a clan that raids more (we just haven’t had the time because life) we have a friend we play with who cant talk nor work. (That all i will say as it’s his story) The only things about joining our clan is we are trolls to one another. We all have are limits and aren’t mean, but will often tease each other as friends do. If do want to join Note this: we only go so far to reach out to each other, never be afraid to join a party (if we’re raiding we dont mind as long as there quiet when it needed), but ask for help and at one point during the week we can do it. There is usually a couple of us on throughout the day. So yeah
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Sometimes in life our social anxiety does dispel certain features from us. And social games like destiny or other mmorpgs are apart of that if you let it. We all have something tho. I dont have anxiety, but I work in costumer service so to go home and boot up a game im supposed to have fun with, yet tries constantly to team me up with people just sounds like the opposite of fun to me. In the end, I knew either I had to quit and find a new game, which I tried, or find a few friends who felt the same. I hope wherever you end up, it's better than where you now. Games are meant to be enjoyed. Entertainment. And the moment it stops being that, is the moment you need to stop playing it.
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I prefer to play without a mic. It's better for me that way, let's just say that. If you're ever on PS4 shoot me an invite and I'll run anything with you. Except raids, I just don't have time for those. PSN: Papa_Belcher
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I’m on PS4 at the moment bud but drop me a message if you want to run anything. No need to mics, just run whatever you are in the mood for and all good.
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I would love to come lay Destiny 2 with you. If you need a friend come give me a call. I also needs some people to play with.
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If on PS4 send me a friend request, we can run the Pit of Heresy dungeon and Master Nightmare Hunts for Pinnacle gear, No mic needed. You're also welcome to join my clan, we're super laid-back and low pressure. I play Destiny to destress so I understand about not running the Raids, even so I have completed them except for the latest GoS.
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I have anxiety in my family (inherited) but never really had it in games. Maybe that's why I played them so much. For me it gets worse as I get older. I have to ask myself whether or not I really need to be on the internet asking for friends that are most likely going to be quite a bit younger than me. When you actually do talk to people you feel kind of stupid being twice their age. Other than that, I do believe its something you can get over or learn to deal with. Plenty of rich people have or had anxiety. The world is ruled by nerds at this point. They all had anxiety.