Nighthawk leaned back in his couch. His smug smile infuriated Xombie. “You mother -blam!-er! I shall have vengeance for the fallen! A storm of pain will overtake you!” he yelled.
Nighthawk sighed. “Don’t you want to hear my monologue on why I staged this whole party?”
Xombie and Ringleader looked at each other, then back at nighthawk. “Sure I guess.”
Nighthawk smiles. “As you know, I used to lead the Society of Daggers, our bank used by Speaker, and was torn apart by everyone that had attended this party. That was motive one. Well, almost everyone. Tiger was the only exception, but he definitely would have told the Ninjas what I have done here if I let him live.”
“Okay, then you might as well tell us how and why you killed the others...” Says Ring, who strangely leans back in his chair.
Nighthawk strokes his feathery beard. “Chubby was the first to die, poison glass. Very classic, and very effective. The glass he had was poisoned by one of Owl Drones.” Nighthawk held out a small Owl like drone no bigger than a ant. “One drop of its poison was more than enough to kill a man. As for why I killed him, he always doubted me. Called me names I never deserved to be called. Not to mention that he intended to get dirt on everyone and turn us all into the Ninjas. He had to be exterminated.”
“From there, it was easy pickings. I found Cell-3 in my society nightmare costume, and corralled him and his robotical clone to the spike traps Tiger had found laying about. Had you probed his memories, you might’ve figured it out sooner.” Nighthawk chuckled. “Funny how some people don’t often think of the easiest solution.”
Xombie leaned forward in his chair, struggling against his bonds. “Okay, then what about Loot Crate? Did you plan to kill him that way? Wood chipper and all?” He asked.
“Actually, no. With all the alcohol he was drinking, I was planning on letting him get drunk, fall asleep and just let poison do it’s thing, like I did with Chubby. I was not expecting all hell to go loose with the wood chipper. Had to act fast to draw up an image that resembled the wood chipper for the paintings, which I bought from a special artist, Lady Ghost before she moved on from Offtopic.”
“Lady Ghost made those paintings? No wonder my nose looked a tad big...” said Ringleader.
“That just left Toaster. The undercover Ninja. He was but one of the Toaster models that was even allowed to be a Ninja. When I murdered Microwave, I knew he couldn’t resist coming after me, but between him and Investigator Varatos Vex I was out of options. Once you discovered the tunnels behind the paintings, he just needed a little coaxing. And what do you do with a defunct appliance? You send it to the junkyard to get crushed!” Nighthawk gleefully yelled. “Not to mention he kept calling me a furry. That was a long time coming Toaster!” He yelled to the ceiling.
“Fine, then why’d you try to kill us off so quickly then after we went to the camera room?” Asked Ringleader.
“I knew the Storm would block all communication with tech or gods. What I didn’t count on was Speaker and his blood ritual shit. The God of the Deep is nothing if he isn’t resourceful. Once he gave Speaker a clue, I knew I had to go fast. I killed Graviton since he was alone, placed his head as a trap, and once I saw the chance to take revenge on everyone, ESPECIALLY LEE...well...you saw the rest.”
Nighthawk leaned forward. “And thus just leaves you two. Once I kill the other, I’ll remove some memories of the other and plant false ones, to make you think you killed them. And I get away Scott free...”
Nighthawk laughed, a Slow chuckle at first, evolving into a cackle of hatred toward his enemies. “Once one of you are dead, I’ll take the Church of Bernthal and use it for my own machinations! Then I’ll take Rings businesses, AND I’LL BE UNSTOPPABLE!”
Xombie couldn’t believe this. His work would be undone. The church of Bernthal would be ruined! He looked over to Ringleader. For some odd reason he seemed suspiciously calm. “Ring, how the hell are you not-“
“There’s only one flaw in your master plan Nighthawk.” Ring replied.
“Oh really?” Nighthawk questions. “And what’s that?”
Ring holds out his hands. “You should’ve learned that a ties are slipknots boi.”
With a flash, his hands moved outward and the tie with them. His jacket was also flung aside. Before anyone else in the room could comprehend what just happened, Ring charged the bird, and dropkicked him.
Nighthawk toppled over the couch. When he gets back up, he sees Ringleader dragging Xombie out of the living room, and into the hallway. He laughed. “Game on you -blam!-ers...”
-
Ahem [spoiler]THE CHURCH OF BERNTHAL WILL REIGN UNTIL THE VERY EARTH BENEATH OUR FEET TURNS TO NOTHINGNESS[/spoiler]