Reason for me being gone:
The one place I open up to people is on the internet on Bungie... weird. Anyway, as most of you know I've had problems with my dad and anxiety. Turns out I actually have clinical depression with severe social anxiety. Every day of my life I wake up feeling like, I don't know, a zombie with no reason to live, with a goddamn boulder on my head.
That's the main reason.
The second reason is that I went to a party recently, a wedding party and everything was good, but later on, one of my depression waves (that's what I call them) hits me and instantly feel like I want to die. Then I fell asleep on my dad's girlfriend's bed and because her daughter didn't like me sleeping in there because "her purse" was in there, implying I'm a goddamn thief, they broke up for a second goddamn time then gets mad at me.
It's understandable that I should have asked before sleeping on her bed, but her daughter is such... she's something.
Then here I am helping everybody, donating to charity, trying to be a good secular humanist and promoting rationality and love, anti-discrimination and other shit, and people still treat me like I'm not a human.
My dad's girlfriend drinks like eight beers every day and says all I care about is getting high, funny right. All because I took my prescription medication Klonopin, which relaxes you and relieves anxiety.
Lastly, right now in my life, I'm probably going to block all of my family and fly somewhere else. I'm tired of being selfless and getting paid back with shit by my asshole family. I'm just going to help my friend with his company, move, and read books.
I'm back... and my life is garbage.
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Edited by StoneFlare21: 4/16/2019 2:17:36 PMThat sounds horrible, and on the topic that nobody missed you I sure did (I loved your "What would you rather do" posts). And just because they're your blood relatives doesn't mean that they're your "'family," the ones that will appreciate you for who you are (which is where friends can come in and the people that you love being around can be considered your unrelated family), so I think moving away for some time to help your friend, and taking a break from your family, is a great idea. Don't cut them off completely, since they are still your related family, so I hope that one day they will understand you and you'll come to forgive them for their mistakes (after all, no one's perfect).While I have felt depressed and had anxiety, it sounds like mines is no where on your level, but I think doing what you love, going to your friend and reading sounds like the best thing to do. And I hope that coming here (to the forums) helps you feel more comfortable. [spoiler]Also you're taking medication, not drugs. So don't listen to your dad's girlfriend when she says that and puts you down for something that actually helps you (even when she's not one to talk).[/spoiler]