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2/11/2019 1:22:44 PM
36
So now that I've been awake for what, a year and a half? I've got things to say
So, I've been watching you people for a while now, I've got things to tell you. First of all, Zavala's a frickin dick. Good, now that that's out of the way, I can actually start.
I've seen the Crucible. I've seen the strikes, the raids, everything. All that you've done since I killed Ghaul when his power was over 9,000. I've been a witness to everything since that moment. And I can't say I'm very proud.
I heard some hunters on your wall talking about one of my chosen. Shin Malphur. From what I heard, the two veterans were telling this "Gunslinger" how Malphur created the power this guardian now has. And how he did so out of vengeance. I am aware that Yor was murdering Guardians. But the entire reason I created you was to protect me. That was it. And this leads me into my next thing.
Your "loot". It prevents you from realizing that I gave you guys the freaking Light(TM-yup, I just trademarked that). I mean, who needs a gun when I gave you a handheld nuke, turned you into Captain America, or gave you a fancy trapper bow? All I'm asking is a little more respect, guys. I mean, come on.
[spoiler]'tis but some satire[/spoiler]
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1 ReplySo, a single guardian came up with a cheeky plan to suck a little light out of your fragments. They succeed. They then fly over to Zavala, who takes one look at them and says "Dur, hur, oh hi there... Ok, fix Titan please, I'll stay here." The guardian does that, so Zavala says "Ok, fetch my fireteam, we're going in rawdog." Why didn't he think of the first, most basic questions - "where did you get your light back?" and - "Will it work for me, the leader of the Vanguard and much more capable as a leader if I actually have my light back?" Seriously, it never crossed Zavala's mind to search for a few more Traveler's fragments and restore the light to the entire Vanguard? Nah, instead this one Mary Sue makes 3, get this, THREE INFUSIONS of light from just one tiny fragment. You know what this selfish piece of -blam- could have done... tell other guardians about the source of light. Then, 3 guardians can have ONE infusion - boom, a fireteam. Search for more fragments, you have an army again. But nah, let's go and glory hound on our own - one man army while the Vanguard risks their true lives just to keep up.
