Today, Golden Owl and I have reached an accord. We have discussed terms and agreed upon them on behalf of our patron Deities. We do this for our fallen brethren and because if this goes any longer, it will get boring! As follows; Cookies are my domain. His is Ice Cream. He has also asked for rights to holiday cookie give aways and Bernthal the Great agreed, just so long as Golden Owl says they are limited edition. While Molasses Cookies are still the one true Holy Cookie, I have agreed on behalf of Bernthal the Great to acknowledge and make clear that anyone can eat most cookies, with the understanding that The Holy Temple of Bernthal the Great only serves and allows Molasses Cookies upon its grounds or within its Holy Walls. We will gather periodically for Ice Cream and Cookie socials and to honor those who have fallen in this most epic and truly important of wars. If I have forgotten anything, let me know and I will add it in an edit! [u][i]Those who have fallen:[/i][/u] [u]ManofDeath:[/u] [spoiler]He fell whilst trying to burn the Molasses Cookies. As he was trying to adjust the temperature knob, he slipped on some spilled batter and fell into another oven. His final words were: "I should have stayed home and watched Netflix and chilled instead of trying to have a hot time in the city!!"[/spoiler] [u]Spooky Derpy Taco:[/u] [spoiler]He fell whilst engaged in a deadly duel defending his cooking honor from those wouldst claim his baguettes were terrible! He hurled the baguettes like javelins, but alas, he was killed because they are served with no point![/spoiler] [u]Spooky Signal:[/u] [spoiler]He died while swinging from a chandelier and trying to save Princess Peach. Alas, he grabbed wrong rope and opened the trap door in the floor and fell in, where he promptly died by sharks with frickin laser beams![/spoiler] [u]CoolHandLuke04:[/u] [spoiler]He went to a Star Trek convention near the battle, but made the mistake of wearing a red shirt. He was merely lurking. Sadly, he was bitten by a zombie and the convention turned into The Night Of The Living Trekkies! Now he is undead and loving it![/spoiler] [u]Bloody Shadrach:[/u] [spoiler]He tasted of the cookie of the knowledge of good and evil and it was too much for him to bear, so he exploded into a ball of light and revealed himself as a great one of the eldritch race, He of the Ever Changing Name! See kids, this is why we do not take snacks without our parents permission![/spoiler] [u]DidSquiddinton:[/u] [spoiler]Left us with the Purge and returned in time to catch a Batter Bomb. You are and were the bomb, sadly it was just your time to explode.......please don't leave me here alone with these loonies.....or am I the loony?[/spoiler] [u]Jackolantern_002:[/u] [spoiler]Something about eating his first Molasses Cookie sparked a fire deep inside of him and he rushed from the Temple screaming Bernthal the Great, jumped on the first horse he saw and chased after the skinniest man he could find, then ripped off his flaming pumpkin head and threw it at poor old Ichabod, the chamber pot salesman! Sadly, Jack needed his head, but in the moment, he lost his head and went out in a flaming explosion of glory![/spoiler] [u]Asura of Madness, formerly Blair is myWaifu:[/u] [spoiler]He was thought to not be involved, but while trying to "raise energy" for his spell, to destroy all the cookies, with his Waifu pillow, he inhaled too deeply and choked on her feathery thread count. He was found 3 days later.....He was smiling happily.[/spoiler] [u]Jeff H:[/u] [spoiler]He came to do battle, striding onto the Temple lawn, his hair mussed and his sunglasses on! For this day, he was going to defeat the great Xombie, but alas, Google Maps had led him astray and he showed up at theGun Club and his roar of defiance was met with a hail of lead! He requested an open casket viewing.......[/spoiler] [u]Skel-3:[/u] [spoiler]The leader of the Armies of Bernthal, he didst have no fear, not even one! He strode forth upon the field of battle and spied in the distance, the Great Defector, Sinister Turtle! Marking him with laser guided computer technology, he bellowed forth his challenge to the once proud member of Bernthal the Great's followers and sprang forth into action! His engines roared into overdrive as the propelled his powerfully built, black chrome legs forward at a rate of speed beyond the comprehension of mere mortal eyes! As he closed with that Betrayer of the Faith, he forgot one thing.....Turtles like water....the one thing Skel-3 is not impervious to, was his undoing. Fear not though, he will return. I put him in my shop and I am making repairs. I might give him blue chrome legs this time![/spoiler] [u]Ruby Forest:[/u] [spoiler]Ruby went to the one place Xombie had not thought to protect, for Ruby saw how much Xombie was trying to protect his faithful followers of Bernthal the Great and acted with a clean, clear focus that only the most battle hardened soldiers have! Ruby leaped upon the Undead Hawg and raced to the Holy Molasses Cookie Warehouse and arrived just in time to battle off the first wave of Owlish invaders! Ruby's movements were precise and economical, a sweet dance of death between blade and revolver that wove the most stalwart of defenses, but alas, even a warrior as might as the forest they are named after, could not last forever. The bullets ran out, the sword didst shatter and Ruby went down under Owlish wings and Minty Crackers, the hilt of the sword and the grip of the gun swinging taking down 2 last opponents before perishing in minty feathers......[/spoiler] [u]Toaster:[/u] [spoiler]That lovable mercenary who will sell his toasting abilities to the highest bidder, was toasting away in the Temple kitchen, when he was captured by the Evil NIL. NIL hung him from his cord and slowly lowered him into a vat of acid, trying to torture Temple Secrets from him, but he held fast! He was recovered by Jack Skelington who was taking a dip to remove some stubborn patches of flesh that kept regrowing. Toaster is keeping Skel-3 company im my workshop as I wait for new parts.[/spoiler] [u] Soviet Soldier:[/u]: [spoiler]He was not a part of the war, but upon seeing the war he decided to emulate that Great Like Assassin, Slim Slimy, until Girraffalope and Spooky Boocrate broke into his Soviet supplied hovel and drug him into the street, where the commenced to putting the boots and the bottom of the crate to him. When they finished and left, he started to stand, before Slim took him down from a different forum all together with a Molasses bullet fired from a Capitalist sniper rifle. He was heard to say, "Boi, get your own gimmick!"[/spoiler] [u]DRAGONHERO10122[/u] [spoiler]This mighty hero and tamer of dragons, was quaffing huge quantities of mead whilst taking wagers on just how badly the forces of Bernthal the Great were going to beat the false prophets of...well everything that cropped up...when his/her liver went into total failure and he or she exploded into a huge mead fuel ball of dragonfire! Numerous eyebrows 5 miles away were singed off......[/spoiler] [u]abearspook:[/u] [spoiler] Was out for a walk one day, a normal civilian, when SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE, A BROWNIE METEOR FELL FROM THE SKY!!! Sadly, all his hopes and dreams were crushed in an instant and now he sits in the spectral realm spectating and being claimed as a fallen member of the Brownie Britches Cult.....[/spoiler] [u]KDA420:[/u] [spoiler] Believed to be immortal, he laughed at the Great Cookie Wars. After spitting on Temple grounds and proclaiming he was untouchable, some claimed he was struck down by a joint operation between Bernthal the Great and Zuul, when he choked to death on a chocolate chip cookie........[/spoiler] [u]Disciple4Christ4:[/u] [spoiler] He was but a recent devotee to Bernthal the Great, but his newness didst not take away from the fervency of his belief! He devoted himself to the maintenance of the Temple, learning the art of making the Holy Cookie and would even babysit occasionally for fellow parishioners who needed a date night! He was moved to tears when Sinister Turtle walked away from the True Teachings of Bernthal the Great. He ripped his shirt in righteous rage when NIL THE BETRAYER claimed his crackers were cookies! Disciple4Christ4 was most upset by the claims of Golden_Owl and his deity, Zuul. So when the time came, it was Disciple who led the troops into battle, singing the Great Hymn and inspiring the troops he led with his piety. As the armies met upon the field of battle, the clouds opened up and a shaft of the purist sunlight haloed him. He stood tall and strode forward swinging his Molasses Sword like a Roman Gladiator, leading the phalanx straight into glory! He laid about him, felling owls, nacho libres, cracker cultists, and nutty cultists like they were sheaves of wheat! Then he came upon a small, child like creature in a brown uniform with a green sash.....he paused to ask her why she was on the field of such a terrible battle and in that moment, the sun was swallowed up as the child's eyes filled with hunger and she opened her jaws wide before leaping onto his shoulders and latching firmly onto his jugular.........[/spoiler] [u]Caboose:[/u] [spoiler]He was walking down the street and happened to notoce his shoe lace became untied and just as he bent over to tie it again, the first shot in The Great Cookie War was fired and he took a cannon blast of white chocolate macadamia cookie batter to his caboose and was instantly filled from rump to mouth where he slowly assphixiated and no one noticed as he fell into the gutter.....[/spoiler]