Flash Sale!!!
Guardians! Has your RNG got you down? Is Xūr offering you less than stellar gear every weekend? Are you in need of high level gear?
Then come on down to Kang’s Discount Emporium! I’m having a flash sale this weekend you simply don’t want to miss!
At Kang’s Discount Emporium, it’s my personal promise to see you leave a satisfied Guardian. That’s right, I’ve got the most sought out gear this side of the Ascendant Plane!
This weekend, and this weekend only, get all your Edge Transit needs right here! That’s right, I’m selling the highly elusive Edge Transit ...in a variety of random rolls.
Have some extra Edge Transits clogging up your inventory? Not a problem with my newly implemented trade in program! Don’t miss out on my insane trade in prices for Edge Transits!
This weekend only!
Trade in 5 Edge Transits and you get a Rare Engram.
Trade in 10 Edge Transits and you get a Legendary Engram.
Trade in 25 Edge Transits and you get a Prime Engram.
Trade in 50 Edge Transits and you get an extremely rare Exotic Engram.
Disclaimer: All Engrams will decrypt as an all powerful God Roll Edge Transit of equal or lesser Power Level to the recipient Guardian.
NO SUBSTITUTIONS
Exotic Engram rewards will be the PlayStation exclusive Prime Transit. An Exotic Edge Transit that shoots exploding Edge Transits with the exotic Perk: Trolling
Trolling: Taking any damage from the Prime Transit will result in your opponents entire load out being turned into low level shit tier Edge Transits for the remainder of their play session.
Be sure to stop by and browse my wares. As an added bonus, It’s buy one get 5 free, this weekend only! You heard right! Buy an Edge Transit and get 5, count them 5!! Edge Transits...FREE!!!!
So come one, come all, be there, or be square!!!
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This is literally the stupidest post I have ever read.