I'd be the pervert warden who starts to jerk off as soon as a female inmate that I just talked to leaves my office.
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Oh wait Offtopic is a sausage fest. I'd be in a white neo [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] prison gang probably. My job is to make laundry where I have to work with some black guy (who of you is black?) that I become friends with.
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No seriously I'd probably just be some inmate who just tries to get his prison time over.
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The big fat chunky guy who -blam!-s every new inmate on their first night