{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
Edited by DeMix:
7/27/2018 9:09:55 PM
49
Why I've been absent
Hi,
I'm finally back here on OffTopic after like two months, haha. And I feel like I need to tell you guys why I've really been gone.
Okay, so I have really bad social anxiety. And when I say really bad, I mean really bad. I've had this problem ever since I was thirteen years old. It feels like when I go out in public I'm going to war and everyone is out to kill me, everyone is looking at me as a target, and I'm constantly on edge. Which has made me dependant on alcohol. Also, every time I would miss a week of the WYRs I felt like you guys hated me, which really stressed me out.
My dad also dislikes me now. I told him why I'm not a Christian anymore, and that I'm an agnostic atheist and he told me straight to my face I'm going to hell. And that hurt me so bad mentally. I can tell in his eyes he despises me now. And I don't have anything against somebody because of their religion, race, or sexuality. We were watching Game of Thrones one night and a gay scene came up and he literally said, "eww, fa**ots." Which hurt me even more.
The reason is that I grew up and was taught that everyone should just love each other and that you should treat someone the way you would want to be treated. And to find out my dad is a homophobe really struck a nerve with me.
I went to the doctor because I desperately needed anti-depressant medication to cope with family issues and life and got prescribed Paroxetine. And it has only helped a little.
Every time I turn on the news there is somebody who got r*ped, kidnapped, murdered, children getting murdered, a mass amount of negative political debates, starving children, diseases, and I just don't feel like living on this planet anymore. I'm not suicidal, just really damn depressed.
Enough about me, how has my amazing OffTopic family been?
-
1 ReplyYou're a dad isn't a real Christian.
-
Man up
-
The world will try to beat you down, the more you consider and get involved, the more the pressure will grow. I try to stay out of the news, and keep uninformed on politics, so I don't have to deal with that level of stress. I already have too many things on my mind. I apologize that your parents are like that, my parents are Christian, but I have drifted (only slightly) to the liberal side. Your relationship with your father will not mend, though it pains me to say.
-
[quote]Hi, I'm finally back here on OffTopic after like two months, haha. And I feel like I need to tell you guys why I've really been gone. Okay, so I have really bad social anxiety. And when I say really bad, I mean really bad. I've had this problem ever since I was thirteen years old. It feels like when I go out in public I'm going to war and everyone is out to kill me, everyone is looking at me as a target, and I'm constantly on edge. Which has made me dependant on alcohol. Also, every time I would miss a week of the WYRs I felt like you guys hated me, which really stressed me out. My dad also dislikes me now. I told him why I'm not a Christian anymore, and that I'm an agnostic atheist and he told me straight to my face I'm going to hell. And that hurt me so bad mentally. I can tell in his eyes he despises me now. And I don't have anything against somebody because of their religion, race, or sexuality. We were watching Game of Thrones one night and a gay scene came up and he literally said, "eww, fa**ots." Which hurt me even more. The reason is that I grew up and was taught that everyone should just love each other and that you should treat someone the way you would want to be treated. And to find out my dad is a homophobe really struck a nerve with me. I went to the doctor because I desperately needed anti-depressant medication to cope with family issues and life and got prescribed Paroxetine. And it has only helped a little. Every time I turn on the news there is somebody who got r*ped, kidnapped, murdered, children getting murdered, a mass amount of negative political debates, starving children, diseases, and I just don't feel like living on this planet anymore. I'm not suicidal, just really damn depressed. Enough about me, how has my amazing OffTopic family been?[/quote] Ok
-
2 RepliesYour dad is a total jackass for saying those. Gay people don't deserve the trouble they've received over the decades. Also, you have the right to or not to practice religion. You just need to get away from most of the troubles, and I'm sure your depression will go away. I'm sorry that you have to deal with all of that. If you're wondering how I am, I am having a good summer. I've been to Water Safari twice this summer, graduated 8th grade, did an aerial yoga class, and got many fellow classmates' numbers that were girls. [spoiler]Could you please make more WYR's?[/spoiler]
-
14 RepliesWe seem to be at an impasse here, as this is my avatar. You must find another.
-
You need to stop worrying about your asshole dad and all the bad shit in the world and find some things to do that you enjoy and live your life.
-
Edited by Catty_Wampus22: 7/29/2018 8:09:43 AMThat's what you see on TV because that's what gets ratings. "If it bleeds, it leads" There's a lot that is beautiful in this world, don't focus just on the bad. Life is too short to waste on that or what some random person thinks of you. You can't what others think of you or *may* think about you dictate your life or let it hold you back. Like Nas said: whose world is it? The world is yours
-
Growing up and realizing the world isn’t perfect sucks. Every day you go to the grocery store, or sit in class at school, you look at a kid who will go home and get molested that same night. It’s hard to wrap your head around. Life goes on. Eventually you’ll learn to compartmentalize. If this kind of thing remains important to you as an adult, go into social work or mental health.
-
7 RepliesEdited by xxx: 7/28/2018 12:28:16 PMWell, I came back, so there is that. Oh yeah, I got a new truck AND a new recliner and I even made a post about the recliner! I made one about the truck as well, but that one was nothing special. I am glad you are back Hoss, you have been missed, truly. I do understand what you are going through, been dealing with it my whole life. Sometimes, when I have to take just one day off from work, it is impossible to go the following day because I feel lioe they hate me. I know it is not true, it is just irrational, but welp, it is still there and it still cripples me. It has been a lot easier since I started driving big rig, I deal with less people and we have a new system, where all I have to do is see my dispatcher just for my keys and to find out if they want me to take an empty trailer or bobtail to my first stop. I am sorry about your dad. I bet his reactions are just ingrained and rooted in fear. You are not "going to hell" for being agnostic. Seriously, if a god exists, there is no way his ego is so fragile, that he needs you to fawn over him night and day. If this being exists, which I think so, he/she/it is going to judge all of us on how we carry ourselves and as long as you do your best and try to be a good person, you would be excepted and welcomed into the afterlife. As to the reaction towards same-sex relations, that is your dad and not you. The fact that you do not care about things like that, that you are smart enough to find your own path based on the tools the people who raised you instilled, shows that you are better then he is, which is what every parent should strive for, to have their children be smarter, stronger and better then they were! He should be proud of you and even if he won't say it, as a father, I will say it, I am proud of you DeMix! You keep your chin up, you do your best and remember, it is ok to take a moment to yourself when Life feels overwhelming, but remember that you are strong enough to get back out there and kick Life's ass for throwing bullshit at you! Also, -blam!- the news and those media sources! They are nothing more then a terroristic group feed us fear so that we will stayed tuned to their bullshit to find out what next tragedy is about to befall us and keep their sponsorships. Go watch cartoons, laughter is better for you then fear ever was! Glad you are back dude and remember, we do love you around here, in our own dysfunctional way, we are a family here. Edit: Sorry for the Wall 'o Text, but that shit had to be said!
-
8 RepliesNo one cares. No one knows who you are. Also, this is The Flood not this Offtopic nonsense. Damn kids ruin everything!
-
Prepare to get triggered ——————————— Do you see it... Innocent children getting riddled with holes in schools that were supposed to be safe, just because our congress is greedy... People’s lives slowly ebbing away in hospital’s that are supposed to cure them, just because our doctors are incompetent... Humans being beaten, murder, and sentenced to spend the rest of their lives in cages, just because the police are racist... Does it make you sad? Are you depressed? Don’t be. Does it make you angry? Are you enraged? Have you been bottling up your rage? Do you fear what would happen if you let go? Why? Why not let go? Let it all out? Embrace the rage. Channel your anger. Don’t control it. Mantle it. Become the rage. Let it define you. Let it become you. Are you depressed? —————————— Cure to depression^ —————————— But in all seriousness, don’t become a rage monster. It’ll do horrible things for to your blood pressure. This is a joke. [spoiler]This poem does not reflect my political values by the way[/spoiler]
-
1 ReplyAnti derpressent= anthrax
-
7 Replieswe've all started professing our admiration and love for each other.
-
2 Replies[quote]two months[/quote] Strange, I've never seen you around these parts. Been here since last year... [spoiler]hmmmm....[/spoiler]
-
4 RepliesCould be worse, you could’ve been in a mall with your father clucking like a chicken at the top of his lungs.
-
1 ReplyEdited by LiftedElf235165: 7/28/2018 8:32:42 AMI am sorry to hear that you are going through such troubling times. If you ever need to talk we are here for you. I don't really know how good antidepressants will work, but please try to quit drinking. It may seem to help you, but it ends up causing nothing but problems. Edit: and we would never get mad at you for not posting. It isn't your duty to cater to us. It's something that you do in your free time. If it is no longer fun for you, than feel free to quit.
-
1 ReplyWho are you?
-
2 RepliesEdited by Spike8796: 7/28/2018 5:02:17 PMI mean I’m transphobic, but I’m fine with homosexuals. Also, literally who?
-
1 ReplyEdited by ElGuapo General: 7/28/2018 11:12:54 PMThat absolutely sucks, you are imo one of the best users here and I’m really happy that you’re back!
-
Sorry to hear you’ve had a rough time bro, glad to see you back though.
-
Edited by ol azo: 7/29/2018 6:44:06 AMI know how it feels when people that should be for you, are against you. I also used to be pretty nervous when in public, but man life gets so much easier when you don't care. Anyway, it's good to have you back. I'm always down for pms if you want.
-
I may not know you but I definitely do not hate you. I don’t hate anyone. I can dislike people. But I don’t hate. I’m not one of those weird people who are like “hating should be banned it shouldn’t exist...” No no no... no one hates you. Don’t think that. I’d say unless you were truly in the wrong and they have a reason to then yes. But in your position right now it’s unfair for your dad to treat you like that. But keep your head up and your chin high. If someone thinks that about you because of your viewpoint then they are in the wrong. I am a Christian. But that doesn’t mean I hate you. I don’t say things like that to people. Even if you’re an atheist I’ll still treat ya like a brother.
-
Sad. Why would your dad say such things? That's messed up.
-
No one here hates you. I can promise that. In fact, you're probably the only user who is universally liked. I know what depression and anxiety like that is like though. It's a blessing for you that you're into creative writing, since that is by far the best way of coping. You can use those struggles to build some amazing stories, and use those stories to help yourself and others. Good luck to you, anyway. And welcome back!
-
Meh. We’ve had some drama here and there. You?
