My time of mourning has passed. I have recently moved on from the loss of my dearly departed recliner. Some of you may remember that post from before X-mas last year, but it is with a joyous heart that I am choosing to share with you my current rapture. It all started with a random trip to a huge store that sells just about everything. I had no intention of replacing my dearest boon companion, but I had looked at a few places, rather half-heartedly. My main reason for being at this store was to find a couple of PS4 related gifts for my youngest niece on my side. My wife happened to suggest we look at the recliners they had there. I grumbled and complained, but like the manliest of men that I am, I whined and pouted the whole way over there to that section of the store. Thus began the next 2 hours of hell and torture that is known as trying out the recliners. So many places for my fine ass to rest, so few worthy candidates, but try them all out I did. Sometimes the arm rests were too low. Sometimes the headrest was too hard. Then the height would be wrong, etc, etc, etc. Finally I found this ugly, horrible afront to the eyes and I knew we were compatible! It had this huge flaired back, armrests the perfect height, headrest perfectly soft and supportive, just the right height off the ground......it was my chair! Then I looked at the proce and said, "-blam!- that noise!! Shit better give me handies every day for that price!!" So dejected, I thought I was meant to wander this world alone, couch surfing and not knowing true rest and comfort...... When suddenly a salesman appeared!! He was a bit older then me and he listened to my tale of loss and woe as only a fellow Brother of the Reclined can! He asked if I had found one and I told him yes, but the price was just too damn high, that my heart was broken and could not take much more pain. I showed him the pricey beauty and told him why I liked it as he tried not to vomit at its hideous appearance. He told me that was the new model and would I be interested in seeing the previous model? It has a considerable discount and a much friendlier aspect upon the eye. I inquired as to the price, but all he would say is that it was on clearance and the floor model was discounted even further, so I agreed to see this discounted cast off of a by-gone era. I sat in it and my ass knew true joy once more, the kind of joy that only the perfectly broken in recliner can provide your ass with. I fell into its arms and knew warmth and peace! I fell almost fell asleep instantly from the comfort, but the asshole salesman kept talking! After seeing the price of the new version, I was nervous, very nervous to ask the price. I was prepared to pay up to $500, but being as how I am cautious with my money, I was very worried that this wonderful recliner would not become a new addition to my life, a true boon companion! So as I sit here writing this, from my the loving embrace of my new family member, it is with a joyous heart that I bought the recliner, it came with a 20 year warranty on the parts and it only cost me $299! I was so happy and relieved! TLDR: stop being lazy and go read this here wall 'o text!