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6/3/2018 7:52:51 PM
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Dumb Mistakes

Post the dumb shit you’ve done by accident. There’s no shame here. Mine: [spoiler]I was getting hot in my dorm room (there isn’t any AC), so I cracked open a window to cool things down. Fast forward an hour or two and I realize that it’s gotten dark, and that the hundreds of white flies that cling to my window every night have now flown through the opening and collected into the best lit corner of my room. Thankfully, my room also has a couple spiders living in it, and so most of the white flies had gotten tangled up and died off by morning. Still, now I have a ton of cobwebs that were previously invisible, and now have literally hundreds of dead white flies stuck to them like really, really shitty Christmas tree lights.[/spoiler]
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  • I've done plenty of dumb thing by accident but this is my favorite to tell. I was working in a drive through window overnight and a customer gave me a fire cracker as a tip. Couple a month's had passed and I was wondering what I was gonna do with it since I still had it and haven't done anything yet. Since I wasnt sure how to ignite since it looked like one of those you pull on, I figured I lit to test it and I just put it out before it goes off. I did this in the house next to the kitchen. It starts to go down the wick and I thought it's time to put it out and I blow on it, it doesn't go out. Shit, if blowing isn't working I thought I put it out with my hand. Suffice to say it didn't work and I burnt my hand. Shit shit what do I do now. I grab it, throw it into a cup in the sink and pour water on it to extinguish it, it still going. Welp, I'm out of ideas. I run into living room, close my ears and watch the horror unfold. BOOM. Glass shards are flying into living room, kitchen is full of smoke and black ash is covered on the kitchen wall and ceiling. Fire alarm going of in the house and I'm standing here thinking -blam!-. Took me a couple hours to clean and came up with a convoluted lie to cover up the reason for the smell. Moral of the story, don't lite firecrackers in the house.

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  • [i]Exist.[/i]

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    • Not me, but my coworker. Him and I were cutting chicken, and he stabbed my hand.

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    • In high school chemistry, we were working on a project. My project needed a stand, so I made legs to stand it on using wire and rubber stoppers. I pushed the wire into the rubber stoppers using a small wooden block. The block slipped and I noticed the wire was gone... until I looked at my finger and saw the wire had gone through my finger. My first thought was "Huh, that's new." I pulled the wire out of my finger, cleaned the wound, and attempted to return to work, but the teacher wouldn't let me.

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      • Breaking some pipes around my work place by accident... [spoiler]It Got wet real quick there.[/spoiler]

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      • Edited by ryanrob105: 6/5/2018 9:40:37 AM
        My dumb mistake was putting my hand through the bathroom window and getting five nasty cuts that needed to be stiched up after having an argument with my parents about not wanting to go out just before Christmas Day 2015. Thinking about it I realize I could have easily cut an artery or a vein and ended up spending Christmas Day in hospital.

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      • I had a one-night stand with a girl that I met at a college party. Next morning I was in such hurry to leave her apartment, I left my wallet with all my driving license, CCW permit, a few credit cards, and cash at her place. I called her later, made up a work emergency as my excuse for leaving in the morning and got my stuff back.

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      • My bike was upside down while I was bleeding my brakes, started spinning the front wheel and such. I decided I wanted to put my finger on the spokes while the wheel was spinning to make some sounds or whatever. As soon as I did that the spokes pulled my finger right into the brake rotor. Resulted in the rotor ripping my entire nail right off

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      • I ripped my finger open at Outback Steakhouse on a shark, (with real teeth), mounted on the wall.

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        • One day, I testing the limits of my flexibility. [spoiler]Short story, I got stuck in my underwear.[/spoiler]

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          • I have a loft bed. So basically I’m like a foot from the ceiling, like the top half of a bunk bed. Anyhow, because of that, I [i]really[/i] hate getting spiders on my ceiling. But like a couple weeks ago, there was a tiny spider on the ceiling over my bed. I think okay it’s just a small one, I’ll just kill it. I use a tissue to try to just smush it, but it doesn’t die and falls into my bed. I wound up just throwing my entire blanket off my bed and getting a new one from the closet. Tip: don’t release hold on spiders unless 100% sure they ded.

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            • Spent 20 minutes looking everywhere for my glasses , found them on my head.

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              • Edited by LanceD: 6/4/2018 6:57:52 PM
                When I was a kid I jumped down a flight of stairs while running around with a friend of mine. It wasn't a huge set of stairs, maybe 6 or 8 steps total. As I was in the air, I remember thinking "Hey, it hurts a little when you land and your muscles are tensed up. I wonder if it would be better to land with your leg muscles relaxed?" Tore my ACL clean off the bone in my left knee that day. What a dumb kid. lol

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                • I was in woodshop trying to make a little token on the disc sander. My finger slipped and sanded a chunk out of my index finger

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                  • Called a teacher mom

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                    • Edited by Kaishi Ritsu: 6/5/2018 1:46:33 AM
                      When I was younger I lived near a big open park in Texas. One day I was hanging out with my friends and I went exploring (I was like 10 at the age) so I took a path around the park through my back yard because I lived on the edge and when I was coming back I took a different path that was deeper in the foresty part of the park... I was walking on this slight hill covered in grass when I came across a big gap that at first glanced looked like a dry spot where water used to be when it rained heavily. So not thinking that it just rained a day ago I started walking across it and halfway across my left shoe falls off and my foot is dangling above now what is a muddy muck... not to mention my mother had just spent $100 on those shoes 3 days ago right before school started and the shoes got caked with mud.... I mean absolutely caked... so I got back to my front driveway and my mother was outside and her reaction was You’re grounded but not until you make them spotless. For 3 hours I sat out in the summer heat in Texas it was at least 105 degrees out spraying and wiping my now ruined shoes. Only to go inside and be grounded for a week. Was it worth it Nope. Because when my shoe fell off had I not been able to step back into it I would’ve been even more screwed cause that mud was hard to get out of even whilst wearing shoes.

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                    • Broke up with a girlfriend of 2 years in a Taco Bell drive thru on Valentine's Day. Then, a few months later at a wedding (she was a bridesmaid and I was a groomsmen), we were dancing and I broke her knee.

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                      • Can it be something that you’re [i][b]about[/b][/i] to do?

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                        • Told a kid on the playground about pornography

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                        • Edited by Gandhi 2: 6/4/2018 2:45:14 PM
                          My dumb ass lost 5% on an exam because I thought six was bigger than seven for a question

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                          • Dad not wearing a condom

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                            • Was messing around with my little brother and ended up hurting my ankle pretty badly. I fractured my growth plate but the doctors didn't know that. They were super confused so they put me in a boot for 6 weeks, then a cast for 6 weeks, then the boot again for 4 weeks.

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                              • A friend of mine did this, not me-but imma put it in because it’s a major oof. He had a thing for this girl in our friend “group”, but apparently not well enough to remember her last name. Or how to spell her first name. The reason I say this is there was a boy with the same name but spelled differently. So, he texted the guy instead asking him out. He promptly responded that he was straight and (no offense) wasn’t into him anyways. The guy who texted him said “oh sh!t srry” and the boy who he texted responded with the contact attached with her name spelled properly. It was pretty amusing when he showed us the next day.

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                              • hey guys, i got a little bit of an announcement...

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                                • I got into a stranger's car after school and thought they were my grandma picking me up. Literally volunteered myself to get kidnapped.

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                                • [quote]This story is a good one: [spoiler]Wyoming[/spoiler][/quote] ^Wyoming

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