Look, before the tears start flowing like a waterfall about my departure, let me just say, I've been a super big deal around here. I really don't think you all understand just how much I've affected all of your lives. I built this forum up with blood, sweat, and tears. I've made all of you fans of Kanye West.
I arrived here like two and a quarter days ago, from another forum that I likewise improved immensely. I tend to not stay in one place at once, so I can positively affect as may people as possible, as I am the second coming of Jesus Christ. In my relatively long time here, I have touched so many people, virtually speaking of course, as my real life personality is entirely different from the persona I have so expertly weaved for all of you to enjoy.
I am leaving because I am unable to prioritize my real life actions ahead of the immense responsibility that comes with having to improve everyone's lives on the Internet. No, I don't want any attention, I just wanted to say bye to the few people that mattered. And don't forget to thank me for improving your life, see you never.
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I feel like you are parodying Cellar Door