Some of you may recall that back when this place wasn't as much of shithole as it is now, there used to be a number of threads that were stickied (or pinned if you prefer that word) to the top of the list. One of said threads was on the topic of "lucid dreaming". It got me thinking -- where was the thread for [i]wet[/i] dreaming? Anytime I see someone mention it, I notice a surprising amount of guys saying they've never had one and some wondering how it even happens. Wonder no longer, fam! For I shall guide you!
• First things first, stop fapping (or doing anything that ends in you releasing). This isn't necessarily mandatory as it can still happen even if you fap on a daily, but it's more likely to occur if you don't, so I highly recommend abstaining from any activity that involves stimulation.
• This next step is entirely optional and ymmv with or without this step. You know those studies and what not that show how certain foods, music, shows / movies and other forms of activity & stimuli can affect your sleep and / or dreams? Well, I figure the same can be said of wet dreams after having experienced some form of sexual arousal prior to sleeping. Spend a couple of minutes looking at something that pitches your tent, raises your flag, arms your ca- you get the point... Just don't touch it. Pushing it down between your legs is fine, but don't stimulate it in anyway.
• Try to relax yourself a bit and make yourself sleepy. Not like, "come home, face hits your bed and you go to sleep", sleepy. More like, "I can't stop yawning and opening my eyes is like lifting weights", sleepy. This can actually be done while doing the previous step (I'd actually recommend doing both at the same time in fact).
• Last step and easily both the strangest and most crucial one. You ever wet the bed when you were younger (don't -blam!-ing lie, you know damn well you did)? You drunk too much appy juice or whatever form of liquid sugar you inhaled and mummy didn't give you proper time to empty that little bladder before nighty - night. Well, that's essentially what you'll be wanting to do here.
I don't talk to other people about wet dreams, 'cause that's just -blam!-ing weird (no, the irony of that statement along with this thread isn't lost on me) so I don't know if it's the same feeling for others, but for me it's a lot like wetting the bed, only it's not urine that's coming out... The timing will probably vary per individual, but it's most likely best you don't go to bed immediately after drinking anything, but don't wait till you're at the point where you'd be doing the "I have to piss dance" either. You want to be at a nice medium between the two. A lot of times it has occurred was exactly 'cause of this without having done any of the prior steps (I don't actually make it a point to try and have wet dreams) so that's why I say it's the most important step.
There you have it! That concludes this guide to inducing nocturnal emissions. Follow it diligently and you too will be waking up at random times of the night (or morning if you're a deep sleeper) to wet spots in your calzoncillos and possibly your sheets.
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Why would you want to?