Sounds like it is about to get out of hand. I come from a family that is loaded with people who suffer from alcoholism. Two of my uncles lost INCREDIBLE jobs because they gave in. My younger sister learned that she cannot have just one drink when she lived in NYC and she has had to stop drinking altogether. I was always the more cautious one. Drinking socially with friends and family under a very strict, self imposed rule of two. When one sips and savors, no one is keeping count of how much you drink. It may be time for you to stop. If these cravings are that bad, that is not a good sign. If you can’t stop by yourself, under your own will power, it’s okay. There are thousands like you. There is no shame in asking for outside help. Whatever your decision, I wish you luck and all the best.