[i] Apparently you guys want to read it, so here. This one is probably the worst one, but I'll post a better one later. This is all real, and no I will not specify which family I am. I could be the dog for all you know.[/i] [i]These Blogs will follow the adventures of Maddie the Puppy as she partakes in her many adventures, and will be narrated from her perspective. [/i] Characters: Housing Authority=Dad Smelly Human=Boy Loud Mouth=Girl Bossypants=Girl Know-it-All=Mom Cows=Horses [b]Poopy Puppy[/b] I should probably introduce myself, but that kind of stuff is always so boring and it wastes precious time that could be spent biting, barking, or figuring out which kind of floor surface is best for taking a dump, so anyway, my name is either Maddie or “Terrible Puppy,” (I get both frequently) and I’m the pinnacle of existence, the center of attention, the Household Alpha (no matter what Housing Authority says) or otherwise, a golden retriever puppy. So anyway, my journey with this dysfunctional family unit began when me and my unresistable charms fooled them into thinking I was sweet and adorable while they were examining me and my brothers and sisters, trying to figure which cute little puppy they wanted to take home with them. 15 minutes later, I found myself driving away, with five humans all cooing over me. I have to admit, I may have cried a little for my family, but that feeling was extinguished when I realized I had probably had a little too much milk before the trip, so with no time to lose I clambered over the carseat, went over to the Smelly Human and did my business. (Bossypants was grossed out!) For some unknown reason he got mad and yelled my name, “Terrible Puppy!” which confused me, I had improved his smell drastically, which goes to show us puppies are underappreciated in the average household. This family has long since tried to potty train me, with little success. They have previously tried to motivate me with treats and “good girl” every time I do my business, but recently Know-it-All came to the unjust conclusion that dog treats make me have diarrhea (it was probably those dead bugs I ate), so she placed a ban on treats, so there really isn’t much motivation any more. I just go where and when I have to. [i]If you liked it I'll post more, and sorry for the lack of paragraphs if that bothers you.[/i] Part 2:https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/238902817/0/0