This morning, at approximately 6:30 central time, my recliner died. Recliner had lived a long & full life, keeping many butts comfortable. Recliner came to join our family about 4 years ago, from another family that no longer had room for it. They loved Recliner very much & while sad to see it leave, were happy it was going to a good home after 20 years in their home. Sadly, Recliner started getting ill a few months back & the local repair shop informed us it was terminal. Recliner asked that he die as he lived, holding & giving comfort to its family. Recliner & I fell asleep together one last time last night/this morning. When I awoke, Recliner could no longer move. Recliner had cradled me through many long nights of gaming, movie nights & just being a Papa & holding my wee little ones. Recliner's comfort level was beyond excellent & went into, Put That Ass To Sleep With A Quickness, levels of power & comfort. A man could not have asked for a more faithful & loyal companion, then Recliner. Yet Recliner was not stingy with its comfort, no, for Recliner was willing to embrace & hold anyone who needed its comfort & power of sleep making. Women, children, asshole father-in-laws that flopped into Recliner like an asshole, it welcomed them all. Recliner, as you go to that great furniture store in the sky, please know that you are still loved & will be missed! Thank you for your service, your friendship & most importantly, your awesome levels of comfort! Services will be held this afternoon at 4 pm at the local dump drop off. Recliner had no children, but in its will asked that no cards or flowers be bought for it, but that any money be donated to its favorite charity, The Lazyboy Retirement & Repair Home.