https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/235203396?page=0&sort=0&showBanned=0&path=1 VOL. 3 https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/234289027?page=0&sort=0&showBanned=0&path=1 VOL. 2 https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/234060067?sort=0&page=0 VOL. 1 [quote]How To Get Out Of Bed: The Process Getting out of bed is not an easy task. Add the winter’s abysmal temperature, and this egregiously hell borne millstone becomes—an impossibility. Alas you must get out of bed because; your daily grind needs you! Beginning with. Realization of Forsakenness: This step is the most grueling, especially if you are married. You must realize that you; yes, you, must leave, nay, forsake. Both your sheets and your spouse—a blessed human sized radiator of heat, right next to you! The moral arguments against this are very strong. Starting with, how can you rob your spouse of the much needed body heat by leaving the bed? Also, is it morally justifiable to let a blast of sub zero air into the sheets, flash freezing your spouse when you leave? Ultimately, you must harden your heart and move onto to step two. Note: A. if the moral arguments are too strong, wait, if you wait long enough your spouse will leave first, giving you the moral high ground. B. Regarding the snooze button. They are one of the most blessed creations on this earth. Alas, you must resist the urge to hit it more than twenty-seven times. The Toe Hold: This step is relatively easy. You must rapidly plunge your toe into the cold abyss of the outside air. This, much like the toe check in the pool, gives you a gauge on how cold it is. The Plunge: This step is the most physically painful. You must sit up and throw off the covers. The blast of cold air that assaults your upper body has been known to make Chuck Norris cringe. Rapidly, you must move both of your legs over the side of the bed, and stand up. Don’t reminisce about the warmth you left behind. It only makes it worse. Note: if the air is too cold, suck it up; you are too far-gone. The Fountain of Youth: Some people love cold showers. This idea should be rejected and forsaken immediately. The next action you make is a mad dash for the bathroom, into a hot shower. This will revitalize your frozen body and make sure that you will not freeze. Enjoy your shower. Lavish in the heat. Take your time: thirty minutes is a good round time. Wings of Angels: Exit the shower. Towel down immediately. Cold air is not merciful to wet skin, or you will indeed freeze again. For extra points: have a space heater to stand in front of to maintain your body heat. Dress quickly. Now you may be wondering why this step is called “Wings of Angels” the reason is because… I wanted to call it that. A Cup of Java: Make coffee. Drink coffee. Repeat. Victory: You made it to work on time. Your boss is happy. You are the only one there on time you get a promotion and a raise. He gives you the day off. You return home and get back in bed. Repeat. [/quote] Sorry it isn't that spooky, i just thought it was appropriate considering how cold it was when i got out of bed. © 2017. John "HoTh" McWaters. All rights reserved