JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

#Community

6/21/2017 2:59:25 AM
4

The Guardian Thief Ch. 17: Epilogue

Hello, Paradox here. This is my Epilogue, the post where the characters take a seat and I, the author, get to speak. This is my post where I recap the ending story, show a tidbit of what's to come, and (most importantly) appreciate everyone that has--or still does--read my work. I intend to do this. Every once in a while, I will write a story that was nowhere as good in comparison to others, or nowhere as good as it could have been. [i][u]Strength of the Pack: Shattered Suns[/u][/i], [i][u]Lives of ARC: Volume II[/u][/i], and now, [i][u]The Guardian Thief[/u][/i] are a list of examples. I want to say I tried my best, and at the start, I did; but once I could see that I had no idea where to take this story, I struggled just to finish it. That was very poor on my part, and I'm sorry. Despite all of this, thank you to every one of you, that has stuck by to read [i][u]The Guardian Thief[/u][/i]. It was a rough one, I know, but you all stood by me nonetheless. [i][u]The Guardian Thief[/u][/i] was an experiment. Could I make the protagonist(s) bad? Could I, also, make these bad protagonists enjoyable? I do believe I have. Avilon-3, and Harkon Avilleon were such characters. Neither were evil; neither were pulling the strings which led to the downfall of the world, or anything. However, both had agendas and personal goals which took them down a journey that was, in no way, good. Avilon-3 was an interesting concept; character, not so much. Since we don't have Fallen Guardians, I did the next best thing that I could accept. I created an exo, who dreamed of being an Eliksni. As an Eliksni, all he wanted to do was ascend his House, the House of Thieves, to greatness. To do this, Avilon had to do some things that most would not be proud of, but he did it without hesitation. Where Avilon did seem to be the villain who wanted to do objectively good things, Harkon was very different. He was an interesting character, in his own right. A hunter obsessed with bones for armor, and knives as adopted children, harkon is in no way, good or bad. He is inclined to do whatever benefits him more, or literally, whatever strikes his fancy at the moment. With everything said and done, did I learn? Yes. I learned to never rewrite [i][u]The Guardian Thief[/u][/i]. *Nervously laughs*. All joking aside, I did learn that it is possible to write a story with main characters striving for something less heroic, and more selfish. Honestly, that is more important to me than having a quality story (though, having both would be nice). Now, I could improve on my mistakes and try again at some point. With [i][u]The Guardian Thief[/u][/i] coming to an end, I am left with [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Clan/Post/1371758/220339313/0/0]Strength of the Pack: Battle of Two Towers[/url], the third installment of the adventures of Alan Moores and the Wolf Pack; [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Clan/Post/1371758/224310262/0/0]Protectors of Light[/url], a story of two people from the Golden Age learning to live in a world with Light; and [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Clan/Post/1371758/224555864/0/0]Timeless[/url], a story of a titan venturing into an unknown Vex stronghold. Once these other three stories come to an end, I am still planning [i][u]Daybreak Wars[/u][/i]. Sadly, it will remain a secret until it's release. ;) Until then... [i]Keep fighting, Guardians[/i]

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

  • Edited by Karl Marx: 6/23/2017 3:39:53 PM
    Before I start giving [i]constructive[/i] criticism, I'd like you to know that I'm no way as good of a writer as you are, Paradox. Luckily, I'm a competent reader, so I'll try to point out why [i]Guardian Thief[/i] felt a little bit... underwhelming. First of, Harkon. I understand that he's supposed to be the 'crazy freak', and you definitely succeeded in that. However, I think you went a little bit too far. You tried to keep the series (I think) a little bit realistic, but Harkon is just... too much. I enjoyed his character, that's not the problem, but I don't think he fitted in this story. Harkon is almost a second protagonist (do you wanted him to act as some kind of arch-nemesis?) and that is not a good thing in a story like this, where it's hard for the reader to feel affection to the main character (because Avilon is 'evil') A lot (relatively speaking, of course) of people agree with me, when I say that we were liking Aviksis more than Avilon, the protagonist. In my opinion, there are two big reasons for this. 1. You made Aviksis kind of a hero, with that amazing comeback in one of the later parts, where he asked Avilon to 'demonstrate his power'. We, as readers, immediately gain sympathy for the real 'hero' 2. The more important one. You followed Avilon AND Aviksis, so we knew what was going on in both camps. This way, we understood that Avilon was actually a 'bad guy'. You replied to someone else that it's all about perspective, but by giving two different ones, you neglected that concept. I think you could improve this story by completely writing it from the perspective of Avilon. This will create some kind of bond between the reader ans the main character, and it would support your perspective theory. But that's just my opinion. Have a nice day!

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

  • I enjoyed it very much, please make more content

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

    1 Reply
    • Have to say, enjoyed the fresh concepts, though none of the main characters really spoke to me. It started to get weird for me when I realized I was actually rooting for the House of Thieves and Aviksis. Nevertheless, I'm glad to have supported it.

      Posting in language:

       

      Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

      1 Reply
      • [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Clan/Post/1371758/219923519/0/0]Table of contents[/url]

        Posting in language:

         

        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

      You are not allowed to view this content.
      ;
      preload icon
      preload icon
      preload icon